Britney’s Love Lesson Number Four

November 22nd, 2006 by Nina Atwood

If you do divorce, do so with “due process.” With the exception of physical abuse, all couples benefit from a gradual process toward divorce. Speedy divorces side-step the necessity of that magical relationship remedy: open, honest, compassionate communication. Strange, isn’t it, how someone can be good enough to marry and have two children with, yet doesn’t rate sitting down with and trying to salvage the marriage? The radical shift from “our marriage is wonderful” to a text message saying “I’m outta here” is evidence that this relationship is far from complete.

Rushing to divorce court creates enormous emotional baggage. The one who leaves often does so with too much blame and a side serving of guilt. The one who is left gets saddled with resentment and anger that can take years to dissipate. Neither person does the real work of divorce: discovering and taking responsibility for one’s own part in the breakdown of the marriage.

Without personal responsibility and the insight that follows, divorcing couples move forward and repeat the same mistakes. Unconscious, they choose a new person and new situation that turns out to mirror the last marriage! They simply haven’t done their homework: understanding the self who chose the last partner. This is the reason that the divorce rate for second marriages is significantly higher than for first marriages.

Entry Filed under: Breaking Up,Celebrity Buzz,Dating,Personal Growth