October 16th, 2007 by Nina Atwood
Uber-Star Julia Roberts was recently honored with the annual American Cinematheque Award at a gala benefit where she was roasted and toasted by her Hollywood colleagues. The focus was her stellar career, but at the end of the day, what she expressed the most value for in her life is her relationships with her husband and her children.
Who would have thought that the star of Pretty Woman, one of the biggest grossing films ever, a film about a prostitue who wins the wealthy guy, would find her greatest happiness in marriage and family? As her star ascended in Hollywood, the world watched while Julia floundered personally with men, dating many, engaged to a couple of them, and briefly married to singer Lyle Lovett.
Julia’s relationship with her husband, Danny Moder, is an example of a good outcome from a bad process. When they met, he was married to someone else, and they began an affair. He quickly divorced his wife and he and Roberts married a few months later. Poor process, but good outcome, at least for them. It’s a poor process because the vast majority of relationships born out of affairs do not work; also, because there’s an integrity issue that contaminates the new relationship. You leave pain for someone else in your wake, and unless you don’t have a conscience, that follows you into the new marriage.
There is also the question of whether or not one of you will cheat on the other in the future; if you did it once and justified it, you might do it again. Couples who begin via affair always carry that question in the back of their minds.
It appears that Julia and her husband Danny are very happy, and we all want that for her. But there was a price tag for that relationship. In hindsight, they could have acknowledged their mutual attraction but maintained a boundary until he ended his marriage with integrity; i.e., with “due process”: full, open communication with his then wife, Vera Steinberg Moder, giving their relationship a chance, before moving on. With due process for the current marriage, you pave the way for a new beginning that is free of the emotional price tag of an affair.
Entry Filed under: Celebrity Buzz