Temptation: Mariah Rushes Into Marriage

 By Nina Atwood

mariah careySuperstar pop singer Mariah Carey and her fiance of five days, actor Nick Cannon, wed in the Bahamas on April 30th. Though they met three years ago, they began dating in late March. That’s a six week courtship.

Mariah has had her share of relationship troubles, marrying and then divorcing her manager of many years, Tommy Mottola, with whom she put on a positive public face while married. Later, she said that she felt trapped by his controlling behavior. Her career has had enormous highs and some lows, but she remains a pop superstar. Maybe it’s time for some happiness for Mariah, but it’s high risk to marry someone she’s only dated for six weeks.

Marriage is a sacred covenant between two people, and I hope Mariah’s is for real. But it’s much, much better to pace a new relationship, give it time to grow deep roots, and then marry.

Very short courtships yield a higher divorce rate because of the letdown following the “enchantment stage” of the relationship. After the natural endorphine high of a new love fades, many couples find that they have married an illusion.

Pacing a relationship (See Chapter Eight in Temptations of the Single Girl) allows time to come down from the high, experience some conflict, and discover what you really have. It’s not nearly as headline-grabbing but it’s far more likely to give you long-term positive results. Pacing isn’t very fairy-tale-like, but then again, real marriage isn’t either.

So while I wish Mariah and Nick the very best, I don’t recommend that you follow their example. Instead, you can be smart about dating and marriage – pacing your relationship for deeper insights and discovery – and vastly increase your odds of success.

Entry Filed under: Celebrity Buzz,Marriage

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