The Bachelor: Taking the Lead Instead of Taking Your Cues

 By Nina Atwood

Monday night’s new season launch of The Bachelor introduced us to Matt Grant, 27, a handsome global financier from London. He seems like a nice, charming guy, and his sexy good looks, intelligence, and strong famlily ties make him a great catch. He gave away something significant about his search for a wife in his initial interview. He shared with the show’s host that it has been challenging for him to meet someone who is genuine. Could it be that Matt is looking for a woman who is secure enough to be herself? I think so. But what did Matt discover when he met this season’s twenty five contestants for his heart?

On the surface, twenty five gorgeouos woman stepped out of limos in stunning dresses and made a terrific first impression. But once the alcohol came out and the vying for his attention began, it didn’t take long for the issues to emerge. Stacey,for example,immediately fell into the temptation to take the lead instead of taking her cues.

Taking the first opportunity to talk with Matt, who was also visiting with one of the other women, Stacey began rubbing Matt’s leg; this made him visibly uncomfortable. Self-absorbed to the max, she failed to see the cue. She then announced that she was “bored” by something the other woman was talking about, even though Matt was clearly enjoying the conversation. Again, she failed to take the cue that he found her aggressive, self-absorbed behavior a turn-off. But that wasn’t enough.

In a stunning example of inappropriate behavior, Stacey approached Matt again while he was in the middle of talking with one of the other women to stuff her lacy bikini underwear into his pants pocket. Matt was shocked and disgusted. Again, Stacey failed to take the cue. Was anyone surprised during the rose ceremony when she left without a rose? Was anyone surprised that she failed to see how her own behavior had created that result?

When the roses were being passed out, it was the women who seemed the most genuine, who showed their interest in Matt without taking away his need to pursue, who were invited to continue. The overly aggressive girls, some of whom exhibited ridiculous behavior designed to grab attention, were left behind.

My husband and I rated every girl at the beginning of the show on a 1 to 3 scale, then gave each an average score. Amanda, who received the coveted “first impression rose,” was the only woman we gave a solid three. Why? Because she gave the first impression of being a secure woman who didn’t need silly tactics to attract the bachelor.

What can we learn from this season opener? Here’s the stone cold truth: if you are yourself, genuine and open, no tricks, no tactics, a guy will either fall for you or he won’t. It’s not a bad thing if he doesn’t – it simply means you are not a match. Taking the lead instead of taking your cues prevents you from seeing the truth if he’s not that into you. Letting a guy step up to the plate and demonstrate his attraction to you starts the courtship and reveals the truth of his heart and intentions.

If you haven’t already, buy your copy of Temptations of theSingle Girl today so that you know exactly how to manage the dance of courtship and land a great guy!

Entry Filed under: Advice for Women,Celebrity Buzz

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