The Bachelor: Why Matt Dumped Holly

 By Nina Atwood

Matt the BachelorAfter a romantic connection on their solo date last week, Holly had every reason to believe that this season’s Bachelor Matt would choose her at the end of the 2 on 1 date this week. But her hopes were dashed and she left in tears. “I was 100% me, and that’s not what he wants,” she said, hurt and stunned.

If this had been a real dating situation, Holly might have been tempted to take the lead at this point. Ego rails at the idea that we might be rejected by someone with whom we feel a connection. The reasoning goes like this: “He asked me out, we had a fabulous time, he told me he’s very attracted to me, we shared a passionate kiss! Where’s the problem?” Yet at the end of the day, a guy is either wild about seeing you again, or he’s . . . less than wild. Because this is The Bachelor and Matt is forced to make choices, Holly got dumped. In the real dating world, he might have dragged it out much longer, feeling drawn to her on some levels but not all.

In real dating, when a guy feels ambivalent he sometimes hangs back. If you take it personally, or if you over-rationalize, you might begin to believe that he needs a little encouragement. So you pick up the phone and call, inviting him over to dinner. Most guys will accept that invitation, but it doesn’t mean he’s putting his heart into the relationship.

Bottom line: learn to recognize when you’re being tempted to take the lead instead of taking your cues. Don’t take it personally if that adorable guy doesn’t fall in love with you. 

If you haven’t already, get your copy of Temptations of the Single Girl so you’ll know how to powerfully sidestep all of the dating traps that can pull you off of the path of a great relationship! 

Entry Filed under: Advice for Women,Celebrity Buzz

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Annette  |  April 22nd, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    Mat I hope you are intelliegent enough to know if you want a child like shayne you will always be fixing her problems or you will get tired of her whinning. You strike me as a man that wants a woman to share your life with not a child. I’m a 64 year old woman who married a very needy man & believe me you get very tired of not having someone to share your life with but who you are constantly taking care of.
    I can see you are very sexually drawn to her but sex doesn’t save a marriage. I hope you take all things into concideration. before you make a decision.
    The best of luck with you.
    Annette

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