Was Kate Hudson Too Needy for Lance Armstrong?

 By Nina Atwood

kate and lanceFox news reported that Lance Armstrong broke up with Kate Hudson over the weekend because she was “too needy.” If the report is true – and who knows since the source is an associate at his foundation and not the man himself - let’s look at what it really means.

Men don’t break up over neediness. That’s right – even though that is an often cited reason for leaving a woman, the reality is that when a guy says she was too needy, he’s using that as code for something else that he doesn’t know how to define. The truth is that she succumbed to the Temptation to Take the Lead somewhere along the way, and he lost his desire for her. Most likely, he was never really that into her, and definitely not in love with her.

When a man loves a woman (who loves him), he pursues her with the intention of a committed relationship. He showers her with attention and affection, making it his goal to win her heart. Why would she feel needy in this scenario? It’s highly unlikely. [The exception might be a woman with a fragile mental state, and although I don't know Kate Hudson, I doubt she's that fragile.]

Again, IF the story is true, Kate’s real issue was falling for a guy who wasn’t that into her, and then taking the lead in an effort to salvage a relationship that was never fully formed. When a woman falls into this dating trap, she appears needy because she may try too hard to gain or maintain his attention.

If I were coaching Kate, here’s what I would tell her: “Take some time for disappointment and grief, but not too long. You are far too wonderful to waste your heart on someone who is not absolutely, totally crazy about you! Learn from this, understand your temptations so you can side-step them, and put yourself on the path to a wonderful, loving relationship with a guy who deserves you. Whatever you do, don’t let this experience take away any of your pride and esteem as a woman.”

If you are a single woman who’s been burned by men who weren’t that into you, this message is for you, too. How do you overcome the temptation to take the lead? In a nutshell, develop your inner compass so that you approach a new relationship from strength. Learn to take your cues by letting him lead. Never, never take over the lead. When he hesitates, let it be. You’ll learn where his heart is. And if you haven’t gotten your copy of the hottest new dating advice book, get Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid today so you can learn exactly how to accomplish these steps.

Entry Filed under: Advice for Women,Celebrity Buzz

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mimi  |  August 4th, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    I used to date a cyclist. Not to generalize, but they have gorgeous bodies, huge egos and a very restless spirit. For mine, “needy” meant that on Thursdays, I’d ask him if we were doing anything on Friday night. Too much pressure! Observing Lance over the years (my cyclist trained with him years ago so I keep an eye on him) I see that he has access to the most beautiful women in Hollywood. My guess is that he’s not done sampling. I hope Kate didn’t have her heart set on him…

  • 2. Pollye  |  September 15th, 2008 at 6:47 am

    Keep in mind that Lance has gotten lots of mileage out of being a cancer survivor but then dumped Sheryl Crow when she got breast cancer. Kate Hudson is a beautiful and talented woman who can do much better than an ego maniac like Lance Armstrong.

  • 3. I♡ KATE!  |  October 23rd, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    this is kate hudson we’re talking about! this goes to show that even celebrities date “jerks” and well even though this one didn’t work out, she’s still got lots to work with. work it girl!

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