The Bachelorette: Jillian FINALLY Dumps Bad Boy Wes

 By Nina Atwood

It took way too long, but she finally did it. This season’s Bachelorette, Jillian, dumped this season’s worst bachelor ever, Wes-the-snake. That she finally sent him packing is no great surprise. What is shocking is the notion that there is a woman in Austin who will take him back (per his tasteless comment at the end that he was going home to lots of sex). But since Wes is a habitual liar, maybe this ”girlfriend” back home is a self-created myth to keep his ego pumped. If she is for real, we can hope that SHE buys a clue and dumps his sorry a** after viewing the show.

What can we learn from Jillian’s experience? Bad boys have two characteristics that should raise a red flag: 1.) loads of charm, and 2.) the ability to lie just as easily as taking a breath of air. Let’s start with charm. The origins of the word reveal the two sides of personal charm: on the one hand it’s the ability to arouse admiration in others; on the other hand, it has a magical connotation, as in the ability to trick others.

People who are very charming are often manipulative (though this is not always the case). Bad boys almost always rely on charm to persuade women to fall for them, and Wes was no exception. So when you meet a guy who is very charming, that is a signal that you should validate his character from other sources. At least two of the other bachelors told Jillian that Wes was lying to her, that he had a girlfriend, and that he was there for the wrong reasons. Where there is that much smoke, there is fire. If two or more of your trusted friends or family members tell you that a guy is trouble, believe it.

How can you tell if someone is lying to you? The reality is that you can’t always know when someone is deceiving you. But if you pay attention, you will notice that your gut feels wrong around someone who, in retrospect, you realize lied to you. This usually happens when the person’s behavior and words don’t align. In Wes’ case, his words were all about being attracted to Jillian, but she noticed that he made no attempt to be physically affectionate during their last two dates. The mismatch between Wes’ words and actions was the final red flag for Jillian.

Behavior tells. Notice when someone’s actions don’t line up with what they are telling you, then validate with external reality checks. Always bring your trusted family members and friends into the picture when you think you may begin to get serious about someone you’re dating. Listen to what they have to say, check your own gut, and make your best judgment call.

Entry Filed under: Celebrity Buzz,Dating

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