The REAL Reason We Care About Kim Kardashian’s Divorce

 By Nina Atwood

After a nine month courtship and a multi-million dollar, media event, star-studded wedding, Kim Kardashian is ending her 72 day MARRIAGE. The cynical side of us says “Another narcissistic Hollywood starlet is throwing a tantrum called ‘filing-for-divorce-after-one-minute-of-marriage’ - so what?” But the concerned side of us must ask this question: Why do we worship at the altar of these media spectacles? And, more importantly: What is the cost to the rest of us for the messages sent and received?

Millions watched Kim’s wedding, and you can bet that the majority of those viewers were young women – impressionable girls who desperately wanted to believe the fairy tale. The message leading up to the wedding was compelling: that the temptation to rush into a relationship pays off big-time! Kim and Kris dated four months, barely enough time to begin to get to know one another, and in this case even more difficult because it was long distance. The reward: a whopping 20 carat two million dollar engagement ring and romantic proprosal!

What followed the engagement was the spectacle of millions being spent on one day in this couple’s life – yes it’s a big day, but that big? And every young woman and teenage girl watching this unfold got the message: it’s ALL about the wedding! What they did not see was a couple with the emotional maturity to say, “all this stuff is fun, but it’s not what we are about.”

Now, the marriage is over, and the final message is clear: since it’s all about the courtship and the wedding, and that’s over, the marriage is over. The problem is that this message is becoming all too prevalent, and it has nothing to do with real relationships and lasting marriages. We should care about that because it is having an impact on Generation Y, and that will have a lasting impact on future families.

Here’s what we should take away from Kim Kardashian’s marriage and divorce:

- A whirlwind romance, romantic proposal, and big diamond do NOT add up to real love

- The size of the wedding and money spent have nothing to do with marriage

- Speeding like a bullet train into a marriage is a warning sign – usually it means that the two people doing the speeding are emotionally desperate to connect while simultaneously terrified of finding out who the real person is that they are so desperate to “seal the deal” with

- We need to flip the priorities: pay FAR more attention to what it takes to have a successful marriage, and far LESS attention to the wedding; see www.smartmarriages.com

- Newlywed couples need more support for staying together; instead of giving them an easy out, let’s push them to work it out

If your daughter fell in love with Kim Kardashian’s brief relationship and all the media hype that surrounded it, maybe it’s time to introduce her to a more thoughtful way of framing relationships. How about this – it’s ALL about your ability to love and be loved, to accept another human being with all of his/her faults, and to make a real commitment. That takes emotional maturity. That’s not nearly as exciting as the drama of living dysfunctionally, but the long term payoff is priceless.

 

Entry Filed under: Celebrity Buzz,Dating,Marriage,Relationships

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