Bachelorette Des Wins Big By Dating Smart!

 By Nina Atwood

Des and ChrisThis year’s series The Bachelorette gave us perhaps the best ever example of how to date smart. Congratulations to Desiree Hartsock on her engagement to Chris Siegfried, but more importantly, for how she conducted herself in her quest for a soul mate. There’s so much to say, but I’ll give you the highlights of her season on the Bachelorette and what she did that worked so well.

1. She was 100% authentic every step of the way. The minute Des realized she couldn’t see a future with someone, she spoke up. This is so important, because dating is ultimately about choosing someone with whom to share you life. If you don’t see that happening, move on!

2. She took emotional risks. When Des needed to say something difficult to one of her suitors she said it, even though she was uncomfortable. She opened up and shared, and when she had feelings for someone she wasn’t afraid to show it. The result was the reward of finding a wonderful man who absolutely adores her! There’s nothing more attractive than someone who is willing to be vulnerable, to open up and take emotional risks. On the flip side, she knew when and how to protect herself when it was called for, as we saw in the episode with the guy who was still dating (or doing) his ex girlfriend.

3. She processed her emotions real time, every time. When Brooks broke up with Des, she shared everything it meant to her, with him, real time. She cried, she shared her feelings, she asked the questions she needed to have answered. And at the end of that gut-wrenching scene, she was about as emotionally “complete” as you can possible be in that situation. The result was that she created the emotional space to continue to assess the two remaining guys – space in her heart and in her mind.

Dating is emotional because we are primarily emotive beings. You can’t be logical all the time, nor should you be. To really win at dating, you must open your heart each and every time you connect with someone, and that means you will have ups and downs. If you pile up emotional baggage you will not be able to progress. When you have a heartbreak, large or small, take time to process your emotions and let go so you can move forward with a renewed sense of optimism. Make sure you have a good support system so that you have a shoulder or two to cry on as well as someone who will help you get back in the game.

Finding your soul mate is the most wonderful and fulfilling experience you can have in life! To do it smart, learn all you can learn about how to do it well, and then get on the field and play with all your heart!

 

Entry Filed under: Advice for Men,Advice for Women,Celebrity Buzz,Dating,Personal Growth,Relationships

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