Do you feel thwarted in love? Develop this one emotional tool and it will change everything. I know a wonderful guy. Jim is a very successful executive who absolutely loves his job helping to run a mid-sized company. He is a striking guy – tall, good looking, and fit. He’s super kind and considerate of others, one of the many reasons he is a great leader and his team reveres him so much. Jim will retire in his mid-fifties a multi-millionaire, hard earned and well deserved. One thing that Jim doesn’t have is a great relationship with a woman. He […]
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If you’re setting intentions for the new year, this one may be your most important. There is ONE THING that will make this your best year ever for dating. I love HGTV, especially the house hunter episodes. Usually it’s a couple, searching for the perfect home for their family. Getting on the same page with the wish list is sometimes a challenge, but by the end of the show, they’re happily at home in their new abode. One thing all house hunters have in common is that they know what they want. They don’t randomly wander around looking at houses […]
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Before you hit “send” on that text, stop and think. You may be tanking a perfectly good relationship. Here’s how to keep your new love on the rails. Some people say you don’t need rules for texting – it’s anything goes. It’s a great tool and it’s easier than picking up the phone and calling, so why not use it in just about any scenario? I say, it IS a great tool, but like any tool, it can be used to build something or it can be used to tear something apart. When used the wrong way, texting can tank what might […]
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Before you dedicate yourself to changing a guy, take a look at these guy types. The one you want to rehab may be the one you can’t. There are four general categories of guy dating pain that you may encounter. One is a potential salvage job, one is potentially dangerous, and two are projects that you could spend a lifetime on and get nowhere. Here’s the difference. One: The commitment phobe. This is the guy who can’t comprehend settling down, but that doesn’t stop him from dating. The true commitment phobe has it wired this way: Commitment is PERMANENT, FOREVER, […]
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Are you dating someone new – say, less than six months? Are you wondering what kind of gift to give, and what to expect? What you do next could make or break your budding relationship. Here’s how to decide what is the right – and wrong – gift to give in a new dating relationship. First, stop and reflect: how involved are we at this point? Have you said “I love you”? Are you sleeping together, exclusive? Are you talking about future, meeting each other’s relatives? If you’re at this level of involvement, then your gifts should reflect it. For him: A […]
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It’s January, that time of year when we set new intentions and goals, but are you setting the kind of goals that will bring love into your life this year? It turns out there are some “do’s” and “don’ts” that can make a huge positive difference as you set your goals for 2014, especially if you’re ready to find love: Be intentional. It’s far too easy to let another year drift by, taking no particular action, and hoping something will magically happen to improve your love life. Setting powerful intentions frames your mindset and stimulates new behaviors. Set intentions such as […]
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Have you ever loved someone who could not or would not move forward and make a real commitment? Did you ever find yourself in the position of holding onto someone who caused you more pain than happiness? Do your friends tell you that you are settling? Do you know what it feels like to believe that the person you love is the ONLY person you could ever love that much, so that you have no objectivity, no ability to choose in or choose out? Do you talk endlessly to your friends and family about all the problems in your relationship, re-hashing […]
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Saturday at the beauty salon where I get my hair done, everyone was buzzing about the bestselling erotic fantasy novel Fifty Shades of Grey. My stylist, eyes glowing, told me I just had to read it. It seems that some of the women in the shop were getting a little marital lift out of Fifty Shades. One customer reportedly had “attacked her husband twice” the week that she read the book. So I gamely downloaded it and did my “research,” and it is truly a page-turning erotic journey. Since the book seems to be such a phenomenon, I wondered about […]
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What are your dreams for your life? Do you believe you can make them happen, or have you given up? More importantly, what is in the way of you achieving your dreams? In this enlightening podcast, Nina talks about the power of dreams: defining them, overcoming obstacles, and believing in them. If you are willing to take a few risks, you may want to challenge yourself to a.) define your dreams, and b.) understand how you may be sabotaging yourself on the road to achieving them. Also, find out how dreams can be the fuel for your life, and what […]
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What is “free love” and how does it affect today’s relationships? If you are over the age of 45, you already have some concept, but whether you do or not, the 1960’s notion of “free love” has a huge impact on relationships today. Your life has already been impacted by this historical phenomenon, and you may want to know how, especially for women. It’s not what you think, and in this enlightening podcast Nina shreds old notions about this familiar concept. Find out what real love really is, how two people can create it together, and why it is so much […]
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Tina Marie Jones, Voice America Radio Host Extraordinaire, interviews Nina in this candid discussion about what happens when women give away their power in a relationship. Listen in as Tina Marie and Nina examine the top three myths that keep women stuck in a cycle of relationships that are unloving and unsafe. Find out what you can do as a woman to begin a new relationship on the right path, or correct the path of your current relationship. To find out more about Tina Marie and to access her radio show and other offerings, visit her website. Click on the […]
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Am I right for him? This is the unconsciously asked question that gets women into big trouble with men. You may not realize it, but you may be operating through this filter in your relationships. Initially, he’s totally into you, and that feels wonderful! But what happens a few weeks or months later when he seems to pull away emotionally? How do you handle it when his attention and intention fall off? How do you react when he begins to subtly (or not-so-subtly) criticize you, making suggestions about how you can lose weight, cut your hair, and more? Listen to […]
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Hi Nina: I am attracted to emotionally unavailable men. However I am also emotionally unavailable; I always look for an escape clause. I watched my parents, who loved each other, have a miserable marriage for over 30 yrs (they divorced when I was 26). I swore that if I cared for someone & he or I wasn’t happy I would be strong enough to leave. I was in a relationship with a man for 6 yrs & as usual I left. I believe this was the right thing to do, for both of us. Now when I meet someone I am […]
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Recently a journalist called and wanted to discuss the impact of texting on relationships – not the first time I have been asked that question. It’s highly relevant given the prevalence of social medial and how it’s used. Here are the questions asked and my answers: Do you think that texting creates insecurity and misunderstanding in a relationship? And does it give a man more power? Texting is just a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used constructively or destructively. If you have an issue in your relationship, texting is not the avenue to solve it. Face-to-face interaction is better […]
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…And What to Do About It Fourteen years ago, the holidays came around but I was not in a festive mood. Everywhere I looked, there were constant reminders of what was supposed to be happening in my life: happy couples strolling along in the mall, television commercials featuring the guy giving the girl a gorgeous diamond ring, not to mention those holiday songs of love. I was divorced, had broken up with my latest boyfriend, and what I wanted most for Christmas was for it to be over, already. I know firsthand what it feels like to feel left out, and […]
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Are you leading an intentional life? Do you listen to your inner compass – that part of you that tells you what is in your highest and greatest good? Nina tells you why it is so important to develop a strong inner compass and to listen to it. When you do, you are more empowered to make choices and to behave in ways that move your life forward on the path you truly desire. Here’s what helps: Emotional intelligence – the source of intuition and gut feelings that inform us about people and situations that are good for us, and […]
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Some situations in life you cannot control, but during those that you can, self-inflicted situations we’ll call them, how do you handle yourself? Do you listen to your inner compass? Our bodies can pick up emotional energy from other people, and the whole field of emotional intelligence has shown us that there’s a reason that we have a feeling known as intuition- knowing what kind of situations and people are good or bad for us. So as you move through life, listen to that instinct. Some people ask me why it’s so important to not drink alcohol on the first […]
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What do you get caught in that pulls you off the path of a great relationship? Do you date men who are high risk? Men who take you on a roller coaster ride that ends in heartbreak? How do you determine a guy’s character? Do you have a well-defined picture of what you’re looking for in a relationship? Are you committed to your vision? You have to figure out what your vision is and stay true to that. I want you to sidestep settle-for relationships and eventually avoid them altogether. Don’t waste your time on dates and men who are […]
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Michael asked if he and his girlfriend have a chance at a healthy love and a life of accomplishment of goals. With multiple addictions between them, and a family history of addictions on both sides, they have many challenges. Here’s my message to them. Michael: first of all, I want to acknowledge you for sharing your story and for having the self-insight to be concerned about your future (and your future children’s lives). The first step in any process of recovery and growth is, as you know, awareness, and then declaring the truth of your situation. Second, the most useful way to view […]
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Love Strategies August 15th: It was truly a mix of topics, starting with women leaving their marriages in droves, touching on honesty in online dating, and ending with an inspirational quote from Kahlil Gibran on love. Listen to the whole show here. This story appeared in the Dallas Morning News over the weekend: Why are women leaving their marriages? Journalist Christine Wicker cited anecdotal evidence that middle-aged women are not content staying married to the husbands with whom they’ve spent the past several decades. Confronted with mid life, they are questioning the decisions of the past, and many are carving out an escape path. […]
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If you have completed your visioning exercises (see previous blogs: 2008 Intentions, 2007 Reflections, Current State, Life Vision Statement, and 2008 Vision Statement), then you are ready to set SMART goals for 2010. What is a SMART goal? S = Specific M = Measurable A = Action-oriented, achievable R = Results-oriented T = Time-based A SMART goal might be something like this: Land a new job in my industry by end the fourth quarter 2010 Join 3 online dating services and complete my profiles by end of January ‘11 Attend two singles groups or functions every month in ‘10 Arrange time […]
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Understanding and awareness are powerful first steps necessary for any life change. But if you stop there, so does your life. Action moves things forward; action creates real change. Nothing, even the deepest levels of understanding and awareness, substitutes for action. If you’re not happy with your dating life, get into action. Use these SinglesCoach forums to educate yourself, read my books, listen to my audio tapes, then put what you learn into real world action. If the goal is a great relationship, then the action is get in the game! That means you must actively search for and participate […]
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Dear Nina: I’ve read your book, Temptations of the Single Girl, and I’m getting ready to read Be Your Own Dating Service and I really need your advice. I’m 43 years old and until a year ago, I have never been in a relationship, and I mean never. I wish I knew why, people tell me I’m attractive. I have had some weight issues, which could be one reason why men weren’t attracted to me. It hasn’t been from my lack of trying. I’ve known and liked different men over the years, but I guess I just wasn’t choosing the […]
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Dear Singlescoach: I am a 28 yr old woman and I am dating a 17 year old guy. He will be 18 in 5 months. And amazingly this has been the best relationship I have ever been in. However, there are a few problems… His parents don’t approve (especially his mother) and my sister thinks I’m making a mistake and being foolish. Age of consent in the state we live in is 17, so that’s not a problem. But the town we live in is small and the gossip has gotten so bad about us. People are talking about it like […]
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What happens when you get to the point of “No matter what the outcome I will be okay?” I seem to have the problem now that I know I’m okay and don’t need someone, I don’t get close to anyone. There is an important distinction between individuation (basically, that I am a separate human being who is complete even when not in a relationship) and the fear of intimacy. You know it is the latter when you don’t allow yourself to get close to another person. As human beings, we seek the middle ground, but sometimes we miss. Perhaps at […]
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