Top 3 Reasons Why Andi Chose Josh for the Bachelorette Final Rose

Andi and Josh

This season’s The Bachelorette had a few twists and turns, notably the dumping of Nick on the day of the final rose ceremony. I turned to my husband about a third of the way through Monday night’s show and said, “she’s going to choose Josh, and here’s why . . .” Nick gave it all away in his final comments and actions leading up to the last day of the season. There are great relationship take-aways from this season’s show, and they all point to the top three reasons why Andi chose Josh. They might very well be YOUR top [...]

Continue Reading Add comment July 30th, 2014

The Real Reason Why Rejection Hurts So Much

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If you have ever felt devastated by rejection, you are not alone. Recent research shows why: our brains don’t know the difference between the emotional pain of being rejected and actual physical pain. Erin dated John for six months. While he was still checking her out, she was falling deeply in love. Finally, he couldn’t deny the reality: they weren’t on the same page, and it wasn’t going to change. So he broke up with her, giving her the typical dating-stuck-in-the-friend-zone excuse: that he just didn’t see it going anywhere. This, in spite of the fact that they’d been sleeping [...]

Continue Reading Add comment July 27th, 2014

Texting for Dates: Top 3 Rules You Must Follow

texting best pic

Before you hit “send” on that text, stop and think. You may be tanking a perfectly good relationship. Here’s how to keep your new love on the rails. Some people say you don’t need rules for texting – it’s anything goes. It’s a great tool and it’s easier than picking up the phone and calling, so why not use it in just about any scenario? I say, it IS a great tool, but like any tool, it can be used to build something or it can be used to tear something apart. When used the wrong way, texting can tank what might [...]

Continue Reading Add comment March 18th, 2014

4 Guy Types to Rehab, or Not

4 guys

Before you dedicate yourself to changing a guy, take a look at these guy types. The one you want to rehab may be the one you can’t. There are four general categories of guy dating pain that you may encounter. One is a potential salvage job, one is potentially dangerous, and two are projects that you could spend a lifetime on and get nowhere. Here’s the difference. One: The commitment phobe. This is the guy who can’t comprehend settling down, but that doesn’t stop him from dating. The true commitment phobe has it wired this way: Commitment is PERMANENT, FOREVER, and you can [...]

Continue Reading Add comment March 18th, 2014

Marriage is Better than Living Together – By Far! Here’s Why

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If you’re dating someone special and talking about living together, think twice. It may not be as good for you as you think. The other day I came home stressed out and my husband offered to give me a head and shoulder rub. What bliss! Not only did it feel good to my tense muscles, but as he rubbed, I felt my entire system calm down. I know without having to think about it that my husband loves me and is there for me. So that neck and shoulder rub wasn’t just physically therapeutic, it was emotionally therapeutic. And there [...]

Continue Reading Add comment March 12th, 2014

Over 50 and Dating? Protect Yourself from Rebound Divorce

middle age couple 2

According to the latest census research, the over age 50 crowd is now experiencing double the divorce rate of younger groups. The even more riveting subgroup is those over 50 who are remarried. The odds of divorce are 40% higher for people in remarriages, so the people most likely to divorce late in life are the ones who divorced and remarried earlier. I heard one recent news report that 40% of online daters today are over age 50. If you’re in that group, you are at significant risk for a rebound divorce: marrying the wrong person, usually far too quickly, later in life. [...]

Continue Reading Add comment March 3rd, 2014

The ONE Reason to Let Him Pursue

couple dancing at wedding

As a relationship coach I’ve heard lots of single men say some version of the following: “I like her, she’s cute and all, but I don’t know . . . I’m just not feeling that strongly about her. But she keeps calling me and, well, it’s nice to have someone to go out with.” But what I heard when they met “the one” was vastly different! “Wow, she is amazing. It took me three tries to get her to go out with me, but once we did, things took off. We’ve been dating for a few months – yeah I [...]

Continue Reading 5 comments February 23rd, 2014

Juan Pablo Dates Like a CEO!

Juan Pablo

On this season of the hit ABC show, The Bachelor, Juan Pablo is the whole package. He is – of course – gorgeous, not to mention successful in his business, emotionally available, AND looking for marriage. Even better, he’s a loving single Dad to his adorable daughter, Camila. Who wouldn’t want a guy like that? But Juan Pablo is a guy who puts something extra into his dating game plan. Juan Pablo has figured out how to Date Like a CEO, and that’s exactly the subject of my new book for men! Here’s a preview of what it means for [...]

Continue Reading Add comment February 17th, 2014

3 Reasons Why Men Need to Take the Lead in Relationships

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I’m all for gender equality and partnership in marriage. My husband and I have that, yet we are also deliciously different. Those male/female differences are the reasons why – in the early stages of dating – it pays huge dividends to let a guy take the lead. Long ago as a budding therapist counseling singles, I thought that gender differences didn’t matter in dating relationships. I didn’t coach singles to understand or honor those differences, nor did I understand or honor them in my own dating life. Every time I took the lead – making the first moves, asking guys [...]

Continue Reading Add comment February 13th, 2014

Valentine’s Day: Gift Giving and Relationship Stages

Valentines-Day-couple

Are you dating someone new – say, less than six months? Are you wondering what kind of gift to give, and what to expect? What you do next could make or break your budding relationship. Here’s how to decide what is the right – and wrong – gift to give in a new dating relationship. First, stop and reflect: how involved are we at this point? Have you said “I love you”? Are you sleeping together, exclusive? Are you talking about future, meeting each other’s relatives? If you’re at this level of involvement, then your gifts should reflect it. For him: A [...]

Continue Reading Add comment February 13th, 2014

4 Hot Tips for Bringing Love Into Your Life This Year

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It’s January, that time of year when we set new intentions and goals, but are you setting the kind of goals that will bring love into your life this year? It turns out there are some “do’s” and “don’ts” that can make a huge positive difference as you set your goals for 2014, especially if you’re ready to find love: Be intentional. It’s far too easy to let another year drift by, taking no particular action, and hoping something will magically happen to improve your love life. Setting powerful intentions frames your mindset and stimulates new behaviors. Set intentions such as [...]

Continue Reading 1 comment January 14th, 2014

Prince Authentic Trumps Prince Charming Every Time

prince charming 3

There was a time when the most charming guy in the room got my attention. If he went out of his way to ply me with flattery, riveting his attention on me, I was hooked. I believed that charm, aimed at me, equaled real desire. And in my mind, that desire was fueled by the intention for a real relationship. I was so tempted, and I usually succumbed. Boy was I wrong! Now, my husband and I laugh about his opening line to me the night we met: “Hi, my name is Mark.” No charm, just a genuinely nice smile and [...]

Continue Reading 1 comment October 31st, 2013

Dancing With The Singles [Love Strategies Podcast]

ballroom dancers

If you love Dancing With The Stars like I do, you’re glued to the television on Monday nights this fall, cheering on your favorite celebrity contestants. But ballroom dancing isn’t just for the stars, it’s good for relationships. Did you know that ballroom dancing is good for the development of relationship skills even when you’re single? In this episode of Love Strategies, Nina explores the many ways that relationships are a lot like dancing, as well as the health benefits of ballroom dancing whether you are in a relationship or not. Leading and following are not just antiquated ideas your grandparents talked [...]

Continue Reading Add comment October 17th, 2013

Mindy McCready’s Fatal Love Mistakes

mindy-mccready

Earlier this year, Mindy McCready, hugely successful country singer, and mother of two small children, took her own life. It was a tragedy that could have been avoided. How did her romantic relationships play into her downfall and death? Find out the risks of love addiction and how to avoid them. Understand why making passion your goal may block you from a healthy love relationship. Also in this podcast, is serial monogamy standing in the way of a healthy relationship? Maybe you’ll see yourself in Samantha’s story: her history with serial monogamy, the impact on her life, and what should be her next [...]

Continue Reading Add comment September 19th, 2013

Does Online Dating Lead to a Better Marriage? [Love Strategies Podcast]

Online-Dating-wedding

Does online dating result in a better marriage? For the first time, a new study reveals that online dating is no longer just for losers and misfits. It is a viable way to find a soul mate. In this podcast of Love Strategies, Nina looks at all the latest findings about online dating, the good, the not so good, and the great. Find out the top 3 reasons why online dating can increase your odds of a better marriage. Also in this show: what do you do when a guy (who seems normal and nice) doesn’t plan ahead? How do you handle [...]

Continue Reading 1 comment August 27th, 2013

Bachelorette Des Wins Big By Dating Smart!

Des and Chris

This year’s series The Bachelorette gave us perhaps the best ever example of how to date smart. Congratulations to Desiree Hartsock on her engagement to Chris Siegfried, but more importantly, for how she conducted herself in her quest for a soul mate. There’s so much to say, but I’ll give you the highlights of her season on the Bachelorette and what she did that worked so well. 1. She was 100% authentic every step of the way. The minute Des realized she couldn’t see a future with someone, she spoke up. This is so important, because dating is ultimately about choosing someone [...]

Continue Reading Add comment August 6th, 2013

Sexting Is Cheating, And a Whole Lot More

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Anthony Weiner cannot stop himself. And unfortunately, he’s not getting enough push back for his offensive behavior. His wife stands by him (poor Huma), he still has backers in his political campaign for mayor of New York, and far too many young women today think it’s appropriate for men to send them sexually explicit texts and messages, or to send them to men. And that is the real problem – that there isn’t enough outcry from women against this kind of behavior. Like my colleague, Dr. Keith Ablow, I do not buy the feminist party line that women and men [...]

Continue Reading Add comment August 1st, 2013

Dating the Not Yet Divorced Guy [Love Strategies Podcast]

Afro american couple

What happens when you meet someone who isn’t quite divorced YET? And that’s usually what they say: “I’m not divorced yet” instead of “I’m married.” Should you date that person or take a pass? If you choose to get involved, can it work? Should it work? There are layers to this issue, and we’ll unpeel them in this show. Also on this show: should you date someone who is not quite on your level? When you feel like you’re about to settle, it’s time to take step back and figure out what is driving your decision. The real issues behind [...]

Continue Reading Add comment June 16th, 2013

4 Reasons You Should Date a Failure

Couple hearts question marks

Fourteen years ago when I met my husband, we were both failures. Relationship failures, that is. He was divorced twice and so was I. We were in our early forties, fearful of making another mistake, yet still hopeful that maybe this relationship would be the right one. We both had a healthy dose of skepticism, but we forged ahead. Good thing we did because meeting him has definitely turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me! If you are single and over forty, odds are you have at least one big relationship failure in your [...]

Continue Reading 4 comments April 8th, 2013

Manti Te’o Was Catfished! How? Why?

manti-te-o

The big news over the past couple of weeks is Manti Te’o – the elaborate hoax that put him in the media spolight in the most uncomfortable way possible. As the bizarre tale unfolded of how he fell in love with a woman he never met, the revelations seemed stranger than fiction. How could this famed Notre Dame player fall for something so outrageous? Here’s the scoop on how it happened to him, and why you must protect yourself from the risk of dating someone online. (For the Fox 4 story in which I was interviewed about Manti Te’o, click [...]

Continue Reading Add comment January 28th, 2013

What Is An Internet Dating Catfish? [Love Strategies Podcast]

catfish

What is an internet dating catfish? And how can you protect yourself from having your heart broken by one? The new reality show on MTV is “Catfish” – it’s two guys who investigate the online daters who fall in love, have relationships sometimes for years, without ever meeting the other person! This is a shocking deep look at something that has been going on for years, but about which you hear little. Here we’ll take a deeper look at it – why the victims allow it to happen, and why the perpetrators do it. Then, you’ll hear the three things you MUST do [...]

Continue Reading Add comment November 30th, 2012

Can You Be Addicted to Your Spouse?

troubled couple

Dear Nina: I truly feel I’m addicted to my wife. We have been separated for 3 years and we have 3 children together that I have full custody of (yes I’m a male). She lives with another man, and still sees me and a third guy who is the reason we split up in the first place. I keep telling myself that I’m through, I’m done, yet find myself right back in the same situation a few days later. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m literally on the verge of complete insanity. I love her and I want our family back together. She claims she wants the same [...]

Continue Reading Add comment November 30th, 2012

4 Dating and Drinking Etiquette Rules [Love Strategies Podcast]

couple with wine

You’re on a date and it’s time to order a beverage. Should you order alcohol? The answer is: it depends - on which date it is and on your personal goals for a relationship. Alcohol fosters illusion and false chemistry, and that can lead to falling into some of the worst temptations. Having a drink or two with your date should be enjoyable, fun, and never dangerous. It pays to know when to say “yes” to alcohol and when to say “no.” Listen to this podcast for the four dating and drinking etiquette rules that will help you stay on the right path [...]

Continue Reading Add comment October 21st, 2012

Does Online Dating Really Work?

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Online dating web sites constitute a billion dollar industry, and the big sites – Match.com, eHarmony, and others – will tell you that they possess secret algorithms that increases your odds of finding the right person. But now a large study published by the Association for Psychological Science reveals what’s really happening. Among their findings: 1. Dating sites give you greater access to more potential partners, but the act of browsing and comparing large numbers of profiles can create a mindset of commoditizing potential partners and reduce the willingness to commit to any one person. 2. Communicating online works well in the short run, [...]

Continue Reading Add comment September 16th, 2012

Breaking Up: Lies, Excuses, and Truths

fighting-couple

Dear Nina: I just read Internet Dating for the Savvy Single – AWESOME. Packed with common sense dating advice. I am trying to get back to dating but I am having trouble getting over my last relationship. We met on a dating site and instantly clicked – rare. We had an eight month relationship which was fantastic. I got a STD test and found out I have HSV-1. Asymptomatic – I have NEVER in my life had a cold sore so I was shocked by the results. Needless to say my girlfriend told me that the HSV-1 was a deal-breaker. I [...]

Continue Reading Add comment September 9th, 2012

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