Ask the Singlescoach®

Want to raise your dating game? Need to solve a relationship dilemma? Ask the Singlescoach®! Post your confidential question here. By submitting your question, you agree to have your question and answer published by Nina Atwood and/or Singlescoach® both on this site and elsewhere. All published questions become the copyrighted property of Nina Atwood Enterprises. Only select questions will be answered. If yours is chosen, you’ll receive an email from Singlescoach® letting you know when it will be posted. To protect your identity, only your first name or a pseudonym will be used if your question is posted.

Dating the Not Yet Divorced Guy [Love Strategies Podcast]

What happens when you meet someone who isn’t quite divorced YET? And that’s usually what they say: “I’m not divorced yet” instead of “I’m married.” Should you date that person or take a pass? If you choose to get involved, can it work? Should it work? There are layers to this issue, and we’ll unpeel them in this show. Also on this show: should you date someone who is not quite on your level? When you feel like you’re about to settle, it’s time to take step back and figure out what is driving your decision. The real issues behind [...]

Continue Reading Add comment June 16th, 2013

Can You Be Addicted to Your Spouse?

Dear Nina: I truly feel I’m addicted to my wife. We have been separated for 3 years and we have 3 children together that I have full custody of (yes I’m a male). She lives with another man, and still sees me and a third guy who is the reason we split up in the first place. I keep telling myself that I’m through, I’m done, yet find myself right back in the same situation a few days later. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m literally on the verge of complete insanity. I love her and I want our family back together. She claims she wants the same [...]

Continue Reading Add comment November 30th, 2012

Breaking Up: Lies, Excuses, and Truths

Dear Nina: I just read Internet Dating for the Savvy Single – AWESOME. Packed with common sense dating advice. I am trying to get back to dating but I am having trouble getting over my last relationship. We met on a dating site and instantly clicked – rare. We had an eight month relationship which was fantastic. I got a STD test and found out I have HSV-1. Asymptomatic – I have NEVER in my life had a cold sore so I was shocked by the results. Needless to say my girlfriend told me that the HSV-1 was a deal-breaker. I [...]

Continue Reading Add comment September 9th, 2012

Dancing and the Art of Pursuit

Dear Nina: I am a 40-something male who has never married or been in a committed relationship. When I ask why all my friends married and I didn’t, all I can think of is that in some sense, I never learned how to pursue a woman. I’m used to being a loner. The desire is there to have a soulmate, but I’m not in the situations to meet attractive, available people and I fear I didn’t learn the skills or get the experiences I should have gotten 20+ years earlier. But I’m turned off by overly aggressive women who come [...]

Continue Reading 3 comments July 8th, 2012

When the Alpha Female Pursues, Who Wins? No One!

Dear Nina: I listen to your podcasts and I have read and refer back to Temptations of the Single Girl quite a bit! I became acquainted with a man at my new gym. He happened to be an employee there, selected to evaluate me for a personal fitness consultation. However instead of asking me questions pertaining to my health and fitness I was being interrogated with questions about my relationship status, my career/life choices, and travels. Felt like a date. Long story short I could feel an instant attraction and I could feel it was mutual. Upon returning for another personal training [...]

Continue Reading Add comment June 7th, 2012

Miserable and Parents: Should We Divorce?

Dear Nina: My wife and I have been married for 12 years and have two children – a 9-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl. We have a difficult, unhappy marriage. There’s no outward fighting or drama, and our young children may not know there’s a problem. But my wife and I rarely have meaningful talks or display affection. We’ve become essentially roommates. We would like to divorce but are worried about the impact on our young kids. Our marriage isn’t completely intolerable. So should we stay together for the kids’ benefit? Or should we consider our own (selfish?) desires and divorce? [...]

Continue Reading Add comment April 29th, 2012

Secretive and Absent: Do I Settle or Do I Move On?

Dear Nina: I am in a relationship with a 48-year old man and we are together to determine if this could possibly be long-term. I would like it to be but I feel he’s stalling. I say this because we have been off and on-again for over 6-8 years. It always seems that at the third month of us getting back together and I ask “where is this going”, we break up–again!! Presently, we are together and trying to see if we work but I feel we both have some issues with trust. I have changed the way I ask [...]

Continue Reading Add comment March 4th, 2012

Sex Too Soon: Now What?

Dear Nina: I recently started dating a new guy who I met online – we are both in our early thirties. We went out on dates for about a month. Then, we had a couple of dates at our homes and on about our tenth date we had sex; there was alcohol involved. Up until then he was really pursuing me, but now he has backed off. We had no date this past weekend and none planned. I’m afraid that I opened up too much and told him I really liked him, and that being in a relationship is scary [...]

Continue Reading Add comment February 19th, 2012

She’s Doing Threesomes While He’s Just Lonesome

Dear Nina: Should I be tolerant when it comes to a girlfriend hanging out with ex lovers? They are not people she dated, but people she has slept with. Recently, she blew me off for a “friend” coming into town, and I found out the “friend” was someone she had a threesome with, and the friend was spending the night at her apartment. She was not upfront or honest about it. She had other recent ex- lovers she wanted to hang out with, too. I broke it off, because I’m not cool with it. I said she should give these [...]

Continue Reading 3 comments February 15th, 2012

The Running Woman: How Do I Stop and Love?

Hi Nina: I am attracted to emotionally unavailable men. However I am also emotionally unavailable; I always look for an escape clause. I watched my parents, who loved each other, have a miserable marriage for over 30 yrs (they divorced when I was 26). I swore that if I cared for someone & he or I wasn’t happy I would be strong enough to leave. I was in a relationship with a man for 6 yrs & as usual I left. I believe this was the right thing to do, for both of us. Now when I meet someone I am [...]

Continue Reading 3 comments January 4th, 2012

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