Temptations of the Single Girl:
The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid
by Nina Atwood

Dear Reader,

Years ago, I was in despair about my love life. I was dealing with the break-up of a long-term dating relationship. Before that, my husband of six years left our marriage, so I was also recovering from a divorce.

One day, I woke up from the fog of grief that consumed me and began to do some serious soul-searching. I stopped thinking about all the men in my life and began thinking about the woman who I saw in my mirror each day. As I reflected, I began to put together a map and I found a compass for going forward in my life.

Being totally honest with myself, I recognized that I had created my own suffering by allowing myself to be pulled off of my true path of love. What caused that? In a nutshell it was the temptation to date men because of qualities in them that I found attractive, but that did not add up to the picture of love, devotion, and commitment that I was seeking. Once I realized that I was being tempted in these ways, I created a whole new game plan for my life, and out of that I met and married my wonderful husband, Mark. We recently celebrated our 8th anniversary, so we are way past the “enchantment stage” of our relationship, and we are more devoted and in love than ever.

Now let me assure you that this didn’t happen because I got lucky. It happened because I did some serious re-setting of my own internal compass – what attracted me, the temptations that had plagued me in the past, the choices I had made, and the boundaries that defined what was and wasn’t good for me.

For me, the journey from making some really bad choices to making better but still poor choices, and finally to making a really good choice, was long and difficult. Ultimately, I learned a lot from the journey, and in that sense it served a purpose. So, I did what any self-respecting author would do – I wrote a book! I had written and published three previous self-help books, but this one was different. It kind of wrote itself, and it came out as a story, so it became a modern day parable – a story that teaches life lessons.

More about the book:

This is the story of Kelly, a charming, pretty “everywoman.” She’s smart, successful, financially secure – and notorious for making bad choices when it comes to men. She wants a great relationship, she wants a happy marriage and family, but she has to overcome multiple temptations that pull her off of her path to a wonderful love. You see, at the start of her story, Kelly has a broken “chooser.” With the help of her mentor, Martha, she learns to identify and side-step each of the temptations so that she can choose better relationships.

The first temptation that Kelly confronts is her tendency to set aside whatever lists about the kind of man or relationship she is seeking whenever she comes face to face with a hot guy who wants her. If he’s not particularly interested in commitment – no problem! The next thing she knows, she’s opening her mouth and agreeing to a “no strings” or “fun times only” relationship, or just a non-verbal dating contract that basically says: It’s okay to drift along with no direction, no stated intentions.

Sound familiar? If so, you, like me and Kelly, have fallen into the temptation of denying your true desires. Hoping for true love, you go along with a directionless, non-intentional relationship out of fear of scaring him away. Here’s the problem: when you don’t clearly state what you are intending, you give men permission to deliver whatever they feel like delivering, and that often falls far short of your true desires. The temptation is to just go with the flow, let it happen the way it happens, and hope for the best. You deny your true desires – for love, devotion, commitment, and yes, marriage!

If you’re like Kelly, you can find yourself in a vicious cycle. You date men without any direction or commitment, hoping for the best. Eventually, the relationship is exhausted because you’re trying to get something that was never there to get. Broken hearted, you move on, but now you’re more guarded, less trusting.

Like attracts like – so if you are less trusting, you will attract men who are also less trusting. Now your inner compass is set for even less probability of attracting real commitment, so you wind up re-creating the same dysfunctional dynamic. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard women who have had their hearts broken declare something along the lines of:

I don’t care about meeting someone to get married. There aren’t any really good, emotionally available men out there, and besides, it’s not worth the risk. I will only get hurt again. So instead, I’ll focus on dating guys for fun, get my sexual and companionship needs met, and then move on.

If only it were that easy. The reality is that when you set your inner compass for lack of emotional availability, you don’t get your needs met. You get more heartache, more despair, and more journeys through the vicious cycle; eventually, cynicism sets in.

Here’s a reality check: When was the last time you talked with your girlfriends about how excited you are to be out there dating, how many wonderful men there are to choose from – attractive men of real character, capable of love, devotion, and commitment?

Sound impossible? If so, you are somewhere in the vicious cycle of denying your true desires, struggling to get your needs met with men, failing, and getting your heart broken. But here’s the reality: other women are meeting and marrying their soul mates every single day! How can that be if it seems so hard to you? Because when you are caught in this vicious cycle, you cannot see a good outcome. You have to begin by taking a leap of faith that it is possible.

Kelly eventually learns about the vicious cycle – how to spot it and break free. With the help of her mentor Martha, she learns how she got into the cycle and what will get her out of it forever. Ultimately, she chooses to identify and stand up for her true desires. But she fears that the men she dates will run away from this new, more empowered woman. Thus begins her up and down journey of self-discovery and recovery. It isn’t smooth – far from it!

Along the way, Kelly falls into the temptation of loving a wounded guy. You may recognize this guy – he’s the one you fall for because he seems so disarming, so attractive, and so vulnerable on some level. Your loving heart is drawn to him more and more as he shares his life struggles. You want to believe that your love will heal him, draw him into a commitment that he’s been unable to give other women before you.

Kelly soon discovers that the problem with the wounded guy is that when it is time to make a commitment, he crumbles. Using his past experiences, his addictions, and his broken psyche as excuses, he backs away from commitment, hooking you into a push-pull relationship dynamic that keeps you off-balance, drains you, and leads nowhere.
Kelly learns to identify wounded guys early (within the first few dates or weeks) and how to effectively and gently push those relationships to a powerful point of choice. On the other side of those choices she experiences an exhilarating freedom and deepened sense of wisdom. But will that lead her to true love?

Kelly isn’t done with her temptations – far from it! One by one, she encounters them all. She learns to overcome the temptations of dating without integrity, choosing high risk relationships, getting sexual too soon, rushing into relationships, settling for less, taking the lead, aiming for the fairy tale, and sacrificing her authentic voice. She stumbles through her mistakes and her heartaches, and celebrates her triumphs with the help of Martha, who it turns out has a compelling story of her own.

Does Kelly find true love? Does she learn enough from her mistakes? Does she triumph over all of the temptations? I won’t give away the story - you’ll have to buy the book to find out what happens to Kelly, but I promise you it will be well worth the expense and time.

Now, let’s put the cost of the book into perspective with that kind of benefit. How much did you pay for your last manicure and pedicure? How much do you spend getting your hair done – color, cut, style? How much did you spend on the last hot outfit you wore on a date with a new guy? How about make-up and jewelry? How much do you spend in an average year on making yourself look as attractive as possible? If you’re like most women today, you spend anywhere from a thousand to ten thousand dollars, or more, per year on your outsides. And it’s important that you do so, isn’t it? But how much do you spend per year on your insides? How much do you spend on learning and growth so that you are far better prepared to approach dating and relationships?

How much have you spent in the past on therapy to recover from bad relationships or a divorce?

How much are you willing to spend to educate yourself about love and relationships so that you stand a far better chance of doing it right? How much are you willing to spend to empower yourself to make far better choices of men and to teach yourself how to guide your relationships in a healthy way?

In case you are still hesitating, let me assure you that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain because this book comes with a 100% money-back guarantee.

If you’re ready to begin changing your life for the better, order Temptations of the Single Girl today, using the links to our Amazon aStore. First, I strongly suggest that you take a moment and sign up for my email newsletter list, checking the box that says “Temptations reader.” This will make you eligible for free products and services to help you maintain your growth after reading the book. Once you click through to our Amazon aStore, you will have to come back to our site in order to sign up, which you can always do at a later point.

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After reading the book, contact me and tell me how the book has helped you in your quest for a great relationship. I welcome your success stories! Meanwhile, I wish for you the fulfillment of self-actualizing and becoming all that you can be in life. And I wish for you the joy of loving and being loved by a great guy for a lifetime.

Yours In Success,

Nina Atwood

Click here to Sneak a Peek from Temptations of the Single Girl.