Marriage Myths: Opposites Attract

May 8th, 2007 by Nina Atwood

Ask people on the street: Do opposites attract? You’ll get the answer “yes” most of the time. This is one of those myths that falls in the bucket of what people think vs. what people do. Ask it another way: Do you want to marry someone like you or different than you? Most people will say they want someone different. But when it’s time to choose someone to marry, the most successful couples choose someone more like themselves than different. It turns out those marriages are the most stable and lasting.

So where does the myth opposites attract come from? Primarily from movies and television. Let’s face it – stable marriages are about as exciting as watching paint dry. No one wants to go to the movies to watch a couple sit around happy and content. We go to the movies for drama! In the name of good drama, we see couples like Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson hook up and actually get together in As Good As It Gets. The reality is that a couple coming from two such polar opposite places in life would most likely never marry or if they did, would soon divorce. It’s vastly entertaining but provides no clues to good marriage.

If you want to marry well, get clear about the difference between love as viewed through the lens of entertainment media and real-world, real-love connections that last. Look for someone who shares your values, your take on life, and your basic personality traits. Yes, it turns out that couples who share similar personality traits are happiest in marriage.

Entry Filed under: Marriage,Relationships