Dating Behavior for Guys: When to Kiss
By Nina Atwood
Rebecca couldn’t believe her date with Joe ended so badly. He did many things right, but the one thing he did wrong overshadowed everything else. It was cold that night, so they left the restaurant and agreed to sit in her car for a few minutes to wind down their conversation. Suddenly, he reached over, took her face in his hands, and gave her a big, tongue-probing kiss. She was so shocked she didn’t know what to do, but her body reacted by pulling away.
What was wrong with Joe’s kiss? Kissing at the end of a date is a good thing, provided the timing is right and the chemistry is right. In Rebecca’s case, the chemistry was right: she was attracted to Joe, no question about it. But the timing was all wrong.
Right chemistry: Guys, this one is absolutely critical. Never, never, never kiss a woman who isn’t showing you she’s attracted to you, and I mean seriously attracted. How do you know? There are a hundred subtle signals, but here are a few: her eyes are dilated, she gazes at you A LOT, leans toward you, smiling. She flips her hair, gives you flirty looks, strokes her arm, bats her eyes. She does not look at her watch, gaze into the distance, follow cute guys with her eyes as they pass your table, and take frequent restroom breaks that last a long time.
Right timing: The best timing for that first kiss is after you’ve done a mental inventory and decided that this woman is someone you want to pursue for a real relationship [see next post for why]. Then, you look for that moment when she looks absolutely hungry for you to kiss her. You’re standing there at her door and she’s about as close to you as she can get, gazing up at you expectantly, smiling. Now, move in just an eensy bit closer, lean in, and stop. When you’re about a quarter inch away from her lips, pause and see if she completes the distance. If she does, then you’ve done it! You’ve chosen the perfect timing for that first kiss. If she leans away, you’ve blown it. Bag that kiss for now and re-focus on the personal chemistry through conversation. Ask for another date and find out if she keeps it.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Men
