How to Attract a Strong Man
By Nina Atwood
Lara complained about men being intimidated by her independence. I would suggest a re-frame so you don’t over-generalize: “Some men are intimidated by my independence. That’s not what they are seeking. Those men are not the right men for me.” What you are seeking is someone who will love and appreciate you for exactly who you are. Therefore, make sure you’re not spending too much time with men who don’t get you.
One of the core definitions of a good relationship is two people who understand each other at a deep level and who love and appreciate the real person that they have, not some fantasy person they don’t have. That deep level of understanding comes from the ability to share and be emotionally vulnerable.
To attract a soul mate, someone who gets you, you must be willing to crack a few eggs (i.e., open up, be vulnerable). You do this not by jumping into bed but by sitting over many, many lunches and dinners having conversations about who you are and what you want out of life, exploring who he is and what he wants. You do this through pacing – refraining from sex for a significant period of time (months). I know – gasp! Refrain from sex for months.
Think of it as “due diligence,” much like the process you would engage in if you were considering a new business venture. Pacing allows you to quickly assess who is right and who is wrong for you.
Now you’re in the position of power over your choices and your life. You will make better choices because you’re making them from the position of looking for a life mate. You will attract men who appreciate you more because you are respecting yourself more, giving yourself time to sort through potential mates before investing your heart and soul.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Women
