Dating the Wounded Girl

 By Nina Atwood

You can’t rehabilitate a wounded girl by loving her. James found out the hard way through two years of turmoil with Brianna. She was gorgeous, even did some modeling at one point. But what really sucked James in was her pain. Brianna had a long history of abuse that began in childhood and continued with every guy she dated. James wanted desperately to show her that love, his love, could change her life.

Brianna was unstable at work, so jobs seemed to slip through her fingers. She was terrible with money – she didn’t earn nearly enough for the lifestyle she craved. She had her hair done at the most expensive salons, couldn’t do without her weekly manicures or facials, drove a late model luxury car, and of course shopped endlessly for clothes to show off her hot body. The emptiness inside her drove the craving for more luxury, none of which could she afford. She was deeply in credit card debt and barely made her rent each month, yet the pattern continued. James gave her large sums of money, hoping that she would get out of debt and change her habits. He erroneously believed that by rescuing her financially, he was demonstrating love. He thought it was enough to stabilize her. He was terribly wrong.

Like the wounded guy, the wounded girl must rehabilitate herself. Her salvation lies in learning to love herself, but not in the ego-driven manner of the past. Only by making a powerful choice to care for herself, her inside self, does she stand a chance of becoming a woman who can love and be loved. Until she makes that choice and actively lives it (i.e., stop spending, drinking, drugging, partying, etc.; start healthy livng, stabilize in a career), she is a poor choice of partner and an emotional drain on any guy she dates. If you are dating a wounded girl, leave a comment below.

Entry Filed under: Advice for Men,Dating


  • 1. Paul Schuerbaum  |  July 25th, 2007 at 7:10 am

    The “wounded girl” article hit home on several items from a recent past relationship. Although, it didn’t last 2 years(only 4 months!), I’m still feeling a little guilty for dating someone who had financial issues/work ethic. She was very good looking and I couldn’t seem to overlook the red flags from the beginning from her past jobs, credit problems, high roller boyfriends and expensive restaurants/bars shes accustomed to visiting. She mentioned (rather soon) not having enough $$$ to pay for home repairs, clothes, etc but it just didn’t feel right to give her money or even offer it some her. My point being its very hard just to move on when your really physically attracted to someone and they have a smiliar kid situation as yours. I must admit to myself I am wounded if would have stayed in that relationship? Any feedback or reply would be great. Thanks, Paul

  • 2. Nicko  |  July 25th, 2007 at 8:03 pm

    hey paul– i can relate ! just ended an almost year long relationship with someone i was very physically attracted to– right from the beginning she showed “wounded” symptoms– yet i continued to try and make it work… i don’t know what it says about a guy when he tries to make something work when it clearly won’t– i think we just get so caught up in the romance factor that we start to fool ourselves into thinking it will all work out in the end… anyway best of luck to all of us with future relationships !


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