Get Back in the Driver’s Seat of Your own Life

 By Nina Atwood

Nothing grabs your attention more than having someone you love abruptly exit. Itís emotionally traumatic, meaning that thereís no way to prepare yourself for such a sudden loss, so it hits you on all levels. Youíre sad and/or angry, you canít sleep, you canít concentrate at work, and you wear out your support network with long, obsessive conversations about why this happened and what you might do. Deep down, what hits hardest is the realization that youíve lost all sense of control over the situation. Your Ex has grabbed all the power in the relationship.

This situation, like all challenging situations in life, holds within it a golden opportunity: that of discovering where real power resides. Within you lies your real power: your ability to choose how you will interpret what happens in your life, and to†respond to what happens in your life and your relationships. Here is your point of choice [given a ďgrace periodĒ of grief which is perfectly normal]:

  1. I can†continue to obsess over this person and suffer because I canít control his or her behavior; or
  2. I can†refocus on the things I can control: my own thoughts, interpretations, choices, and behavior.

What is your choice? Which choice gives you greater peace of mind and heart in the long run? Which choice reclaims your sense of personal power?

Entry Filed under: Advice for Men,Advice for Women,Breaking Up,Dating

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