The On-Again, Off-Again Path to a Great Relationship

 By Nina Atwood

What do you get caught in that pulls you off the path of a great relationship? Do you date men who are high risk? Men who take you on a roller coaster ride that ends in heartbreak? How do you determine a guyís character? Do you have a well-defined picture of what youíre looking for in a relationship? Are you committed to your vision?

You have to figure out what your vision is and stay true to that. I want you to sidestep settle-for relationships and eventually avoid them altogether. Donít waste your time on dates and men who are not right for you. The idea is to spend your time with quality men and stay true to your deepest values so that you donít compromise whatís important to you.

True or False? Dating is just for fun.

False. Think about your life as a matter of design. Having a sense of design about your love life is crucial rather than going with the flow and hoping a great relationship falls into your lap. Is it ok to date around in order to have companionship and meet new people? If you know you are emotionally unavailable, look for friendship in people without sexual contact. You can never be sure what your timetable is for emotional recovery after a divorce, breakup, loss etc. You have to be open to a relationship but smart enough to not get into a relationship unless you see it going towards marriage. Itís called emotional discipline.

There are men running around out there with a small capacity to love. These are not bad people, but the men who hurt the women that they date are probably ruined by their life and have not fully recovered. Their lack of healing is taken out on women they date. Picture your emotional baggage as carry on luggage for a plane. Now imagine your emotional baggage in steamer trunks. The men who are walking this life holding steamer-sized baggage are the ones to avoid because youíll be dragged down with their luggage.

The choices you make early in life regarding relationships have long-term ramifications. Men and women may do bad things, but you are the one who chooses to accept that behavior or move on. You have to value yourself and well being above all else.

To listen to Nina’s full podcast on the subject of being choosy and playing smart in dating, click here.

Entry Filed under: Advice for Men,Advice for Women,Dating,Personal Growth

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