Sexting Hurts. Period.

If you think sexting is cool, think twice. Reality check: sexting hurts you and him. Far too many women today think it’s okay for men to send them sexually explicit texts and messages, or to send them to men, and that is a real problem. Like my colleague, Dr. Keith Ablow, I do not buy the notion that women and men are no different from one another sexually, and that the newfound freedom of women today to hook up frequently with random men is a positive thing. Sexting dehumanizes relationships, rendering them to pornographic images on a small screen, devoid […]

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Does Facebook Cause Breakups?

A new study suggests that if you’re like “slutty Joan,” you’re going to get a worse rap from your female friends than “slutty Jim” will get from his buddies. Are sexual double standards still going on? What does it mean in your world? On this episode of Love Strategies, Nina discusses this dicey question, as well as your own sex life and how it impacts the rest of your life. Also on the show: does Facebook cause breakups? The short answer is: it depends; sometimes yes and sometimes no. Find out when it does and when it doesn’t and why. And what do you think about […]

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Dating the Not Yet Divorced Guy [Love Strategies Podcast]

What happens when you meet someone who isn’t quite divorced YET? And that’s usually what they say: “I’m not divorced yet” instead of “I’m married.” Should you date that person or take a pass? If you choose to get involved, can it work? Should it work? There are layers to this issue, and we’ll unpeel them in this show. Also on this show: should you date someone who is not quite on your level? When you feel like you’re about to settle, it’s time to take step back and figure out what is driving your decision. The real issues behind […]

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Why We Love Fifty Shades of Grey [Love Strategies Podcast]

Why is the book Fifty Shades of Grey still topping the bestsellers list? Why is it such a huge phenomenon? What is the emotional chord that it touches in so many women? This Love Strategies show is all about the book and why it is that we - women - love Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s not what you think! It’s not just the sex, it’s the bad boy fascination. Also on the show - a brand new study that reveals what makes women so attracted to bad boys. You will be shocked at the answer to that age old question. Also on this episode of Love Strategies, […]

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“The Subtext of that Text is Bootay”-Carrie Bradshaw

Dear Nina, I recently met a man through an internet dating site, we have been on a couple of dates and had a lovely time. The odd thing is that he only texts me between dates (no calls) and he had to cancel our third date due to a hectic day at work, and as yet has not rescheduled (it was a week ago today we were meant to meet). He texts every day and the texts are very flattering and flirty, and are starting to get quite cheeky- although I keep batting back with ones to suggest he may […]

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Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

I’m a male, 33, and I’ve committed myself to stay out of the bedroom at least until there is a commitment and hopefully even until marriage. I feel that finding out sexual compatibility before marriage should NOT be a requirement. I cannot fathom being in love and then letting performance in bed be the deciding factor! This position makes it difficult for me to ask women out, as I’m afraid that she will demand an early sexual relationship. How do I stick to my principles and let go of this anxiety so that I can date?   - Matt Contrary to […]

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Dinner, Drinks and a Movie…and More Drinks, and Late-Night coffee- Where to End the Marathon Date

Amy met Richard online. After a couple of emails, they agreed to talk on the phone. That went well, so they set up a date for drinks after work. Sparks flew instantly. After two hours and a bottle of wine between them, they moved on to a nearby restaurant hot spot. Dinner was fabulous; they couldn’t stop talking. Time flew and suddenly they realized it was late in the evening. Richard asked if he could follow Amy home to make sure she was okay. That turned into an invitation to come in for a cup of coffee. One thing led to […]

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Do All the Wrong Signs Add Up to a Right Move?

Dear Nina: I stayed at a close friend’s house the other night. It was obvious that we have gone from friends to fancying each other. He has made it plain he wants kids and to settle down. He knows I cannot have kids but want to settle down. I am older than him and he has said to me that he likes younger women even though his last girlfriend was older than him. Anyway I stayed the night in the spare room, it was obvious we were both considering the who-joins-who question. So what is the etiquette? Should I have […]

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In the Dating Pool: It’s Better to Dip Your Toes Than to do a Cannonball

Dear Nina: I’m in my mid-30’s. I haven’t dated for a couple years probably because of too much trauma in past relationships I’d kind of given up. I’m bucking up and getting back into the swing of things. I’ve never been married. I really want children and a best-friend, love-of-my-life husband. So, I’m doing my best to try a new way. I’ve read two of your books. In Temptations of the Single Girl, you recommend just going to lunch with someone on the first date. How by the book do I need to do this? I understand why this is […]

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Sex is Nice, but I Need More

Dear Singlescoach: I just ended a five month relationship based primarily on sex, which I thought would lead to more, and it didn’t. I also can’t seem to find a strong enough man who is not intimidated by an independent woman. – Lara Dear Lara: Let’s separate these two issues and tackle them separately. Let’s start with the question of sexuality. Relationships built primarily on sex tend to work just fine for many men, but don’t work out for most women. That’s because women are wired to seek love through the back door of sex, while men are wired to […]

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Too Much too Soon VS. Too Little too Late? -When to Have Sex in a New Relationship

Dear Singlescoach: I just started dating a man and he told me that my being too nice puts pressure on him and makes him act distant toward me. I don’t understand. Does he think I’m putting on an act?                                       – Teri History with the new guy: Sex within the first few dates; a few days later, he brings up commitment and says it was a big step. Teri, surprised, agrees and tells him they should “go slow.” He disappears and she is left baffled. She wonders if he felt obligated after having sex. She says she never got the chance […]

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How Do I Get Over His Cheating?

Dear Nina: I read Temptations of the Single Girl and absolutely loved it! It really spoke to me in a time of need. My question is this– how do you get over a relationship where there were multiple instances of cheating? I just found out my boyfriend of eight months began cheating on me for the 3rd time. I finally was able to walk away, but he said so many things and did so many things inconsistent with that type of behavior that I’m desperately afraid that I will have trouble believing what any man says for the rest of my […]

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How Do I Get More?

Dear Nina: I am 21, and the person I’m dating is 22. We have known each other for about two years now. We live about an hour away from each other, but still talk. We began sleeping together right from the start of our relationship, and have on and off ever since. I do think that was a big mistake, but I love being with him. I feel so comfortable with him, and he makes me laugh! I want more from the relationship, though. How do I get more? How can I get him to commit to just me, and […]

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Should I End It?

Dear Nina: I have been dating a guy for 4 1/2 months. He is 43 and I am 48. We hit it off immediately. I made the error of sleeping with him on our first date (I initiated it). He has never been married and has no children. He wants a non exclusive relationship to see how things work out between us. He says he has only been in love once (15 years ago) and does not want to rush into anything. I agreed to wait and see if he decides he wants to be with me exclusively. I am […]

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