Why Do We Settle For Less?
By Nina Atwood
In a word – FEAR. Someone once said that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. In our minds, there are all kinds of reasons to settle for the crumbs with which we’ve been presented, all of them false:
- I’ve been single a long time and this is the best opportunity I’ve had
- My friends say I’m being too picky
- My family says I’m being too picky
- I’m getting older every day and I don’t know how many more opportunities I’ll get
- It isn’t that bad
- It’s better than nothing
- This may be the last train to come through the station, so I’d better get on board
- I don’t want to run out of time to have children
In order to hold out for a great relationship, we have to be able to say “no” to a mediocre one. Someone once said that you can’t have a powerful “yes” until you deveop a powerful “no.” Imagine saying yes to someone you don’t feel you’re wild about, or who doesn’t treat you really well. Eventually, that yes turns into resentment due to needs going unfulfilled. This undermines the basis of commitment, the glue that is supposed to bind you together over the long haul.
Now imagine holding out for someone who is a real match for you, whom you love and respect, and who loves and respects you, with whom you share values and a life vision. Now imagine the power of the yes that you express to this person and he/she to you. It’s not just yes, it’s YES!
Entry Filed under: Dating,Personal Growth
1 Comment
1. ceci | June 18th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
sure it does get lonely, boring, and depressing,but if you hold out mr or miss right will come along and the loneness,boredom, and depression will not seem that bad. you can be fulfilled if you hold out for the one you believe is the ONE