To Catch a Predator: Precautions to Take When Meeting Someone New
By Nina Atwood
Kathy thought she’d met her ideal candidate for a serious relationship. After connecting through a popular online dating site, and talking with him on the phone, she agreed to meet at a local bar. He was a doctor; even told her which hospital he worked at. He was charming and bought her drinks. It never occurred to her that she was in danger. The next morning, she woke up groggy, sick, and in pain. A visit to the emergency room confirmed the worst: she’d been raped and drugged (with something slipped into her drink while she was in the restroom).
What Kathy now knows is that there are predators who use internet dating sites to identify and stalk their victims. Some are serial rapists, like the one caught last October in Philadelphia. These men are clever, using cover stories that enhance their stature in the eyes of overly trusting women. Some use drugs such as Rohypnol to render their victims unconscious, while other lure their victims to a hotel room or other location.
Basic precautions can prevent most of these assaults. Things you should never do:
- Leave your drink unattended in a stranger situation; or accept a drink handed to you by a stranger
- Invite someone to your home without first doing a background check
- Go to a hotel room or someone’s home without first doing a background check
- Give out personal information online
Things you should always do when dating strangers met over the internet:
- Have first, second, and third dates in public places, meet there, and avoid alcohol
- Be sceptical about any information he shares with you initially; verify what you hear
- Before progressing in the relationship, Google the person, then do a background check to rule out the married and ex-cons
- Ask for references, and call them, before you progress past public meetings, including his employer
- Above all, listen to and TRUST your gut
The bottom line is this: never, ever, ever let your attraction to someone cause you to abandon your common sense or ignore those internal warning bells. Be protective of yourself in any situation with a man you don’t really know.
Entry Filed under: Dating
