Marriage on the Outs and Is He Stalling [Love Strategies Podcast]

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, married couples now represent 48 percent of all U.S. households. That’s down from 52 percent in the last Census. The reason is twofold: The fast-growing older population is more likely to be divorced or widowed later in life, and 20-somethings are putting off their nuptials for longer stretches. Experts say [...]

Continue Reading Add comment January 22nd, 2012

The REAL Reason We Care About Kim Kardashian’s Divorce

After a nine month courtship and a multi-million dollar, media event, star-studded wedding, Kim Kardashian is ending her 72 day MARRIAGE. The cynical side of us says “Another narcissistic Hollywood starlet is throwing a tantrum called ‘filing-for-divorce-after-one-minute-of-marriage’ - so what?” But the concerned side of us must ask this question: Why do we worship at the [...]

Continue Reading Add comment November 1st, 2011

Congressman Weiner: Fuzzy Relationship Math

Let’s see. If you take suggestive emails, sexually explicit texts, and pornographic tweets and add them up, then substract the physical contact (because we never actually met or had sex), that equals NO CHEATING. Yeah, right. That’s fuzzy relationship math, and it doesn’t add up. If you believe in monogamy, then Congressman Weiner’s “cyber cheating” [...]

Continue Reading Add comment June 8th, 2011

Four Ways to Kill a New Relationship [Love Strategies Podcast]

You’re dating someone new and he’s wonderful! You think he may be “the one” but before you start buying bridal magazines, listen up! Nina informs you of the top four unconscious ways you may sabotage your new relationship. Also in this show: dating violence and how to protect yourself or your daughter. Discover: How you [...]

Continue Reading Add comment February 6th, 2011

Relationship Smorgasbord

Love Strategies August 15th: It was truly a mix of topics, starting with women leaving their marriages in droves, touching on honesty in online dating, and ending with an inspirational quote from Kahlil Gibran on love. Listen to the whole show here. This story appeared in the Dallas Morning News over the weekend: Why are women leaving their [...]

Continue Reading Add comment September 1st, 2010

My Significant Other is Significantly Stunting My Personal Growth

Dear Nina: I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. I am a divorced mum of one child; I have tried to prevent further trauma to my son by remaining in the marital home. My relationship was very up and down with this man for the first four years and after many split ups he [...]

Continue Reading Add comment June 25th, 2010

Some Motherly Advice: If You Want Love, Give Love

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.”  – Mother Teresa Okay, so maybe we can’t always be the shining example of love that was Mother Teresa. [...]

Continue Reading Add comment June 17th, 2010

Never Say Never to a Positive Outlook

This past week, my friend George moved into a brand new house with his bride of two weeks. George and his new wife are blissful, looking forward to a life together of dancing, cooking on the grill, spending time with their kids and grandchildren, and loving each other. Just a little over a year ago, [...]

Continue Reading Add comment June 2nd, 2010

Are you Ready to Move in with Your Relationship?

couple houseYou’re in love, you’re spending almost every night together yet paying rent for two separate homes. Is it the right time to move in together? The answer is: maybe, but it’s wise to be cautious about co-habitation. Here’s why.

Let’s start with some data: contrary to popular opinion, living together is not an effective way to ensure that your marriage will be strong. Statistically, couples who live together prior to marriage have a higher divorce rate than couples who do not. It turns out that “test driving” the relationship by living together doesn’t work. Here are some other reasons NOT to move in together:

  • One of your leases comes up and you figure you’ll save money
  • To save on gas – no more driving back and forth
  • Your other couple friends live together
  • You hope that by living together the engagement will follow
  • You like his/her home better than yours

In short, you shouldn’t move in together for reasons of convenience or money. The risk of moving in together too soon is that one of you may succumb to the Temptation to Settle for Less because it’s much harder to break up if you are co-habitating.

So what are some good reasons for living together prior to marriage – when is the right time?

  • Both of you see yourselves as a committed couple
  • Engagement is definitely in the plan, or you are already engaged
  • Marriage is definitely in the plan, or you have a date set

In short, moving in together can work if your relationship is very solid and you are moving down the path to marriage or some form of lifetime commitment. Otherwise, moving in together can jeopardize your relationship. Why? Because unless you are on the same page, one of you may have the secret agenda of getting the other to move forward in the relationship. This can result in conflict rather than deepening your love. Better to wait for this step until you are truly aligned – ready for marriage, excited about your future together, and planning your wedding.

Listen to Nina on “Love Strategies”:

Add comment May 5th, 2010

When Dating and Marriage Don’t Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage

Is there anything wrong with dating just for the fun of dating? Yes, I understand the partner should not be misled. Generally speaking, it sounds as if you feel that if a relationship is not headed toward marriage, it should be over.   – Brian People date for all kinds of reasons: For companionship, for [...]

Continue Reading Add comment April 27th, 2010

If Not Marriage, Then What?

If you’re dating someone, long-term that is (one or more years), and you can’t bring yourself to make a commitment, take a little time and challenge yourself with these questions: Why am I in this relationship? Why is the person I’m dating in this relationship? (If you don’t know the answer to this one, find [...]

Continue Reading 2 comments April 10th, 2010

How Do You Keep An On-Again/Off-Again Relationship On?

Rick writes: I have been dating a woman on and off for several years. I moved out of state six months ago and haven’t seen her but twice. The last time she visited, I noticed that she was distant after our intimate moments – not cuddling like she had in the past. One night when [...]

Continue Reading Add comment April 2nd, 2010

Why Men Leave

After years of being with the same man, you may wake up one day and find that he has moved on. The heartache and emotional trauma seem unbearable at first, but eventually you come out of your fog of grief, anger, and whatever you are feeling and ask the question: why? You may tell yourself that you don’t [...]

Continue Reading 1 comment January 18th, 2010

Mel Gib’s Girlfriend: Delusion or Love?

Mel Gibson’s girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, believes he is a “solid and failthful person,” according to an interview in Britain’s Glamour Magazine this month. Perhaps he’s changed, now that he’s fathered yet another child with Oksana. Maybe he’s learned from the mistake of cheating on his wife of 29 years, mother of his first seven children. [...]

Continue Reading 2 comments November 10th, 2009

When Is the Right Time to Live Together?

You’re in love, you’re spending almost every night together yet paying rent for two separate homes. Is it the right time to move in together? The answer is: maybe, but it’s wise to be cautious about co-habitation. Here’s why. Let’s start with some data: contrary to popular opinion, living together is not an effective way [...]

Continue Reading Add comment July 6th, 2008

Temptation: Mariah Rushes Into Marriage

Superstar pop singer Mariah Carey and her fiance of five days, actor Nick Cannon, wed in the Bahamas on April 30th. Though they met three years ago, they began dating in late March. That’s a six week courtship. Mariah has had her share of relationship troubles, marrying and then divorcing her manager of many years, Tommy [...]

Continue Reading Add comment May 20th, 2008

Good Marriage: A Health Insurance Policy

In a recent Time Magazine article, the report from decades of research is that marriage helps both men and women live longer and healthier. But if you read the full story, you find that for women the caveat is this: the marriage must be good for her in order for her to experience the health [...]

Continue Reading 1 comment February 4th, 2008

Marrying Too Young

Is it possible to marry too young? Often people say, with hindsight at the point of divorce, that they married too young. But is that true? There are many very happy couples who married young and wouldn’t change a thing in their path of life together. The distinction is age vs. maturity. Maturity is often [...]

Continue Reading 2 comments December 10th, 2007

Proudly Pro-Marriage

Occasionally I receive an email from someone criticizing me for having a pro-marriage slant in my books and on this blog. “What is wrong with two consenting adults deciding to have a relationship minus any commitment?” they ask. My answer is there’s nothing inherently wrong with that choice, yet there’s everything wrong with it as [...]

Continue Reading Add comment August 6th, 2007

Marrying For Your List

Out of sheer frustration with the roller-coaster ride of highly passionate yet dysfunctional relationships, you decide to sit down and make a list. Intelligent, attractive, self-caring, shares my values, no drugs, shares my interests – these are the kinds of items that comprise “the list.” Then you look around and the first person who fits the list you [...]

Continue Reading Add comment July 18th, 2007

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