The Long Journey from the Head to the Heart
By Nina Atwood
Today I am grateful – for the opportunity to make a difference in others’ lives. Readers of Temptations of the Single Girl tell me it is helping them change the course of their lives. I wrote the book because of my own imperfect journey to a healthy marriage. I wrote it because of the countless stories shared with me over twenty years as a therapist by women in pain because of the men they chose.
One thing I’ve learned is that it takes more than knowledge to change a life. Awareness is the first step – awareness that every time I have a problem, there “I” am. Awareness that the end result of my own choices is either greater joy in life or more suffering.
Awareness leads to the search for knowledge – the nuts and bolts of how to make better choices, how to do things differently so that my results are better. Being aware, awake to the reality (not the fantasy) of my life, I learn, grow, and do things differently, make better choices. Doing things differently, I begin to experience new results. Life begins to take shape in alignment with my purpose. One day, I realize that I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of – a loving husband, work that fulfills me, wonderful heartfelt friendships and business relationships, good health, and an experience of contribution.
That is the long journey from the head to the heart. Sometimes women write to me with questions about a current relationship, and I realize that they have only read the online excerpt of Temptations, not the actual book. I answer the questions and I nudge (okay, maybe it’s push!) them to get the book and read it all the way through. Why? Because it takes more than a superficial knowledge of the ten temptations to jump-start real change.
The story draws the reader in deeper with each chapter. Each revelation of each new temptation, its consequences if succumbed to and the way out, helps the reader to self-reflect more deeply. Self-reflection leads to greater self-awareness, and that leads to new and better choices. The how-tos – knowledge – give the reader a powerful guide for the ups and downs of dating. The goal is to develop a far better inner compass, then know what to do to choose the right kind of guy. Real love is then possible.
So don’t sell yourself short. If you haven’t already, buy and read the entire book; use it to begin the process of real change. Believe me when I say from experience: all of your problems with men, and thus all of the solutions, are in you. Let the book help you strengthen your inner compass – the one that guides you in making healthy choices in dating.
If you’ve already read it, use Temptations of the Single Girl to reinforce your journey of transformation: from the head all the way to the heart. Read it again, slowly. As you do, and you notice the changes in your mind-set toward relationships, write to me, share your story. I want to bask in your success, rejoice in your victory over old, unworkable patterns with men. And so do others.
Entry Filed under: Dating
2 Comments
1. Confused | June 4th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Nina I’ve read the book excellent read and definitely more informed than I was before, I’ve also read your other books which were great as well but I know you mentioned in your current book that youv’e grown alot since writing those books. I was wondering if there is any information that I should skip in date lines and or Be your own dating service.
2. Nina Atwood | June 4th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Great question! The only part I would say I’ve really changed about is women taking the lead. In the past I believed that it was a positive, women’s lib kind of thing for a woman to ask a guy out. Now, I recognize that this actually winds up robbing a woman of her power. By initiating, she cannot discover how intentional he is toward her. She feels off-balance, insecure. Then she begins to react from that place of insecurity, rather than responding from a solid core of confidence.