Fourteen years ago when I met my husband, we were both failures. Relationship failures, that is. He was divorced twice and so was I. We were in our early forties, fearful of making another mistake, yet still hopeful that maybe this relationship would be the right one. We both had a healthy dose of skepticism, but we forged ahead. Good thing we did because meeting him has definitely turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me! If you are single and over forty, odds are you have at least one big relationship failure in your life. Singles often ask me about the people they are dating and whether or not they are worth the risk. He’s been divorced and single for ten years. Is he ready? She’s never been married but lived with a guy for fifteen years. Does she have a problem with commitment? The twice divorced person may look like a long shot, but it turns out that there are some real advantages to dating relationship failures. If [...]
Continue Reading April 8th, 2013
Why is the book Fifty Shades of Grey still topping the bestsellers list? Why is it such a huge phenomenon? What is the emotional chord that it touches in so many women? This Love Strategies show is all about the book and why it is that we - women - love Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s not what you think! It’s not just the sex, it’s the bad boy fascination. Also on the show - a brand new study that reveals what makes women so attracted to bad boys. You will be shocked at the answer to that age old question. Also on this episode of Love Strategies, listen to the questions that other listeners ask. Your story may be a lot like someone else’s! Angela wonders why she runs away from relationships and toward her career. Linda follows up on her dilemma with her secretive and absent boyfriend. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your MP3 player [...]
Continue Reading April 8th, 2013
Women ask me all the time: how can I meet someone who is ready for commitment? How do I find a guy who is actually interested in marriage, not just fun and games? My answer is simple but not easy: figure out what you need to do to attract a commitment minded guy. Some of that is the inner work you need to do so that you are not attracting emotionally unavailable guys. Good relationships are always an inside job. The rest of it is understanding what to do on your dates so that you set the stage for real love, commitment, and a journey to marriage. In this podcast, featuring the questions I get from real people, you’ll learn why it is so vital that you DO talk about marriage with the men you date. Secondly, you’ll learn how to talk about it without scaring away [the right kind of] men. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your [...]
Continue Reading February 20th, 2013
The big news over the past couple of weeks is Manti Te’o – the elaborate hoax that put him in the media spolight in the most uncomfortable way possible. As the bizarre tale unfolded of how he fell in love with a woman he never met, the revelations seemed stranger than fiction. How could this famed Notre Dame player fall for something so outrageous? Here’s the scoop on how it happened to him, and why you must protect yourself from the risk of dating someone online. (For the Fox 4 story in which I was interviewed about Manti Te’o, click here.) The Victim A Catfishing victim doesn’t want to be hurt, but he (or she) may have some built-in issues that make him vulnerable. First, he is typically in a time of great transition such as recovering from a breakup or divorce. In Manti’s case, he was dealing with the transition from being just another player to being the famous player who was in line for the Heisman. Second, the Catfishing victim is unusually needy, craving affirmation. It’s [...]
Continue Reading January 28th, 2013
What is an internet dating catfish? And how can you protect yourself from having your heart broken by one? The new reality show on MTV is “Catfish” – it’s two guys who investigate the online daters who fall in love, have relationships sometimes for years, without ever meeting the other person! This is a shocking deep look at something that has been going on for years, but about which you hear little. Here we’ll take a deeper look at it – why the victims allow it to happen, and why the perpetrators do it. Then, you’ll hear the three things you MUST do when you date online to protect yourself. You’ll want this show if you date on the internet or plan to do so. You’ll want to recommend this show to any of your friends who are dating someone online that they haven’t met. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose [...]
Continue Reading November 30th, 2012
Did you know that too much materialism can kill your (future) marriage? A new study highlights the problems when one or both partners focus too much on having more things. We now know the personality traits that are associated with materialism, and with the downfall of marriages as a result. As a single person, you may want to know what to look for as you date and consider someone for marriage. There are clear signs in a new relationship that you may not be financially compatible. Since conflict over money (how to spend, save, and debt) is the number one reason for divorce, it pays to be savvy about it as you date and discover. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your MP3 player or iPod, and listen to Nina Atwood, the Singlescoach®, anytime! [...]
Continue Reading November 19th, 2012
You’re on a date and it’s time to order a beverage. Should you order alcohol? The answer is: it depends - on which date it is and on your personal goals for a relationship. Alcohol fosters illusion and false chemistry, and that can lead to falling into some of the worst temptations. Having a drink or two with your date should be enjoyable, fun, and never dangerous. It pays to know when to say “yes” to alcohol and when to say “no.” Listen to this podcast for the four dating and drinking etiquette rules that will help you stay on the right path to a great relationship. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your MP3 player or iPod, and listen to Nina Atwood, the Singlescoach®, anytime! Amazon.com Widgets
Continue Reading October 21st, 2012
This week’s hot Hollywood news item is that the stars of the blockbuster Twilight series, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, may be getting back together. Why not? One affair doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship. In fact, it can be a new beginning and actually bring a couple closer. But there are things to watch out for along the way if you want a healthy, lasting relationship post affair. Here’s my advice for Robert and Kristen, and all couples in this situation. Also in this podcast: How to recover from break-ups powerfully so that you can return to being open to the possibility of a loving, lasting relationship! Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your MP3 player or iPod, and listen to Nina Atwood, the Singlescoach®, anytime! Amazon.com Widgets
Continue Reading September 21st, 2012
Online dating web sites constitute a billion dollar industry, and the big sites – Match.com, eHarmony, and others – will tell you that they possess secret algorithms that increases your odds of finding the right person. But now a large study published by the Association for Psychological Science reveals what’s really happening. Among their findings: 1. Dating sites give you greater access to more potential partners, but the act of browsing and comparing large numbers of profiles can create a mindset of commoditizing potential partners and reduce the willingness to commit to any one person. 2. Communicating online works well in the short run, but is detrimental if carried on for too long. It can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when potential partners meet in real life. 3. Although many dating sites claim superior results matching partners through the use of “scientific algorithms,” there is little evidence that these algorithms can predict whether people are good matches or will have chemistry with one another. The authors of the study found that utilizing these matching schemes via online dating sites [...]
Continue Reading September 16th, 2012
You are in love with the guy you believe is “the one.” Everything seems to be going great, when suddenly, he backs off. He gives you some kind of lame excuse, or he gives you no excuse, but he doesn’t give you a valid reason. You have nothing to work with, and you realized that you have been abandoned. It is a devastating feeling. Why does this happen? What are the signposts that may tell you when the guy you are dating could be the guy who exits abruptly? Most importantly, what can you do, and how can you respond? Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your MP3 player or iPod, and listen to Nina Atwood, the Singlescoach®, anytime! Amazon.com Widgets
Continue Reading September 16th, 2012
Dear Nina: I just read Internet Dating for the Savvy Single – AWESOME. Packed with common sense dating advice. I am trying to get back to dating but I am having trouble getting over my last relationship. We met on a dating site and instantly clicked – rare. We had an eight month relationship which was fantastic. I got a STD test and found out I have HSV-1. Asymptomatic – I have NEVER in my life had a cold sore so I was shocked by the results. Needless to say my girlfriend told me that the HSV-1 was a deal-breaker. I offered to take suppression meds - Valtrex - so it would minimize her risk. She wouldn’t do it and broke it off. This one is taking me longer than usual to get over due to the fact that there was nothing really wrong with the relationship. Any suggestions on how to overcome this, or just let time do its thing. – Mitchell Dear Mitchell: I have known TONS of people over the years with the herpes virus, [...]
Continue Reading September 9th, 2012
I’ve heard singles for years tell me their reasons for not utilizing the internet to meet someone for dating: a.) there are too many duds, and I always get the duds, b.) no one that I care to meet ever responds to my profile, c.) the ones I do meet turn out to be something less than I thought, d.) it takes too much time to go through all the winks, emails, phone calls, and coffee dates to get to a viable person. That’s just the beginning of the excuses, but here’s what you need to know. Dating, like any other worthwhile endeavor in your life, takes an investment of time and energy. If you lost your job, would you tell your friends and family that it was just too much trouble to put your resume together and look for another job? Of course not! This is different, of course, because your need for food, shelter, and clothing pushes you to find work, whereas dating can always be postponed. What are you waiting for? Maybe it’s [...]
Continue Reading September 9th, 2012
Download Internet Dating for the Savvy Single for the low price of $0.99. Summer is wedding season and millions of happy brides are finalizing details for their special day. How did these women meet that special guy who popped the question and put a ring on it? It may surprise you to know that one out of five of these couples met on the internet! Internet dating is now approaching one billion dollars in annual revenue. As I’m writing this, tens of thousands of couples who met on the internet are deciding to marry! If you don’t know someone who is happily married who met his or her soul mate online, you will. I personally know half a dozen happily married couples who met through an internet-based dating site. So why aren’t you jumping on this bandwagon? Why aren’t you surfing your way to love right now? Odds are you’ve tried internet dating and didn’t get the results you wanted, or you decided not to try based on the bad stories you’ve heard. He wasn’t all he seemed [...]
Continue Reading July 24th, 2012
Have you ever loved someone who could not or would not move forward and make a real commitment? Did you ever find yourself in the position of holding onto someone who caused you more pain than happiness? Do your friends tell you that you are settling? Do you know what it feels like to believe that the person you love is the ONLY person you could ever love that much, so that you have no objectivity, no ability to choose in or choose out? Do you talk endlessly to your friends and family about all the problems in your relationship, re-hashing every painful moment, yet feel powerless to either change it or move on? If you have a pattern of getting into relationships with people who cannot or will not meet your needs, yet you cannot let go of them, you might be suffering from love addiction. Find out what the signs and symptoms are, as well as what you can do to begin your recovery. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 [...]
Continue Reading July 19th, 2012
Dear Nina: I am a 40-something male who has never married or been in a committed relationship. When I ask why all my friends married and I didn’t, all I can think of is that in some sense, I never learned how to pursue a woman. I’m used to being a loner. The desire is there to have a soulmate, but I’m not in the situations to meet attractive, available people and I fear I didn’t learn the skills or get the experiences I should have gotten 20+ years earlier. But I’m turned off by overly aggressive women who come on way too fast as well. But being in any situation where I’m having to lead others, especially women, feels awkward like having to use my left hand in everything. Any thoughts? – Randall Dear Randall: I’ve heard similar stories from other men, so you are not alone. You are in a catch-22: you’re inexperienced in the art of pursuit, but uncomfortable with women who might pursue you, so a relationship is unlikely to occur [...]
Continue Reading July 8th, 2012
Why do we choose the people that we do? Sure, there’s physical attraction, but it turns out there are other factors at play when we act the crazy way we do in the name of love. Politics and religion have more to do with it than you may realize, even if you don’t talk about it! Find out all the fascinating science behind love and mate selection. Also in this Love Strategies show, find out what you need to know to make it more likely that love the second time around can actually work. Divorce and remarriage isn’t so easy, so you will need this information if you are divorced and dating. Also, understand the risks and hazards of dating long distance, and what to do about it. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your [...]
Continue Reading June 22nd, 2012
Dear Nina: I listen to your podcasts and I have read and refer back to Temptations of the Single Girl quite a bit! I became acquainted with a man at my new gym. He happened to be an employee there, selected to evaluate me for a personal fitness consultation. However instead of asking me questions pertaining to my health and fitness I was being interrogated with questions about my relationship status, my career/life choices, and travels. Felt like a date. Long story short I could feel an instant attraction and I could feel it was mutual. Upon returning for another personal training session a few days later I could still feel the sparks flying. In a situation like this, is it safe to say he should make a move to set up a date if he’s interested? Personally I prefer men make the first move, although the alpha female in me wants to take things into her own hands. But I feel like I miss out on opportunities in doing so. What do you think? Am I [...]
Continue Reading June 7th, 2012
Remember the bizarre meltdown of Congressman Weiner? The story is old but it ties into the debate about monogamy: What is happening to monogamy? If you pay attention to the media, you might begin to conclude that is is an antiquated notion that no longer applies to today’s modern relationships. In this podcast, Nina tackles the issue of monogamy: why it is so important and what it has to do with today’s relationships. Also: is sexting cheating? Are emails of a sexual nature to someone outside of your relationship a sign that you’re cheating? Nina covers all these issues and more, including cyber cheating. Also in this episode of Love Strategies: How to identify the signs of a relationship that is turning violent and what to do about it. Every woman who has ever felt afraid of her boyfriend or husband should listen to this. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on [...]
Continue Reading June 7th, 2012
Saturday at the beauty salon where I get my hair done, everyone was buzzing about the bestselling erotic fantasy novel Fifty Shades of Grey. My stylist, eyes glowing, told me I just had to read it. It seems that some of the women in the shop were getting a little marital lift out of Fifty Shades. One customer reportedly had “attacked her husband twice” the week that she read the book. So I gamely downloaded it and did my “research,” and it is truly a page-turning erotic journey. Since the book seems to be such a phenomenon, I wondered about the impact on relationships. Why, I wondered, do we love this book so much? First, there’s the obvious. He’s hot, she’s hot, and their wild sex life is so combustible it could light up a large city for at least 48 hours if we harnessed it. That said, I don’t think too many men are reading this book. When I mentioned it to my husband he gave me one of those deer-in-the-headlights looks. Not only [...]
Continue Reading May 15th, 2012
What is “free love” and how does it affect today’s relationships? If you are over the age of 45, you already have some concept, but whether you do or not, the 1960′s notion of “free love” has a huge impact on relationships today. Your life has already been impacted by this historical phenomenon, and you may want to know how, especially for women. It’s not what you think, and in this enlightening podcast Nina shreds old notions about this familiar concept. Find out what real love really is, how two people can create it together, and why it is so much better than the alternatives, no matter how “free.” Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your MP3 player or iPod, and listen to Nina Atwood, the Singlescoach®, anytime! Amazon.com Widgets
Continue Reading May 6th, 2012
New studies highlight a so-called new trend: Stayover Relationships. The question raised by these studies is this: “Do stayover relationships interfere with the path to marriage?” But is this really a new trend, and does it really impact the decision to marry? Couples have been “staying over” for decades – meaning that they maintain separate homes but spend three or more nights per week at one place or the other. Find out from Nina why staying over might not be a bad idea, and also what to watch out for if your relationship follows this trend. Also in this podcast, find out what couples author Steve Stosny calls “toddler love.” Understand what it is, how it impact relationships, and how can you can avoid shooting yourself in the foot in a new relationship. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music [...]
Continue Reading April 29th, 2012
“Love at first sight” is a well-known expression, but how real is it? I’ve heard many couples over the years refer to how quickly they fell in love. Some say it was instantaneous, others say it took weeks or months. You have probably heard more than one friend say “it was love at first sight”! The latest research tells us that it is possible to fall in love in as little as a fraction of a second. But the reality is that it doesn’t always lead to lasting love. One study, conducted by Syracuse University Professor Stephanie Ortigue, revealed that up to twelve areas of the brain are involved in falling in love, the net result of which is a feeling of euphoria not unlike the feeling derived from the use of cocaine. Researchers found that this could happen in as little as a fifth of a second. They also found that the experience of love is based on processes that take place not just in the brain, but also in the heart and stomach. “Butterflies” in the stomach [...]
Continue Reading March 22nd, 2012
“Love at first sight” is a familiar notion, but is it real? More importantly, can it last? Now, new research answers the question of whether or not those couples who instantly fall madly in love make it over the long haul. What causes instantaneous love? Is it real love? Why is it so difficult for crazy in love couples to take their time before marrying? In this podcast, Nina answers all those questions and more. Also in this podcast: how to effectively deal with the lying about age, height, and weight that you may encounter in the online dating world. Also, living together and money: how it can both define your relationship and cause your future divorce, and what you can do about it. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on your computer. Sync with your MP3 player or iPod, and listen to [...]
Continue Reading March 22nd, 2012
Is your girlfriend pressuring you to get married? Maybe it’s time to listen because she’s right – getting married is good for you! Everyday Health reports the latest research on men’s health and the findings are in – men are healthier along every major dimension when they marry. From sex to cancer to heart problems, married men fare better. Married service men have lower rates of PTSD. Married men live longer, behave better, and drink less. For the full run-down, read the article in Everyday Health: “7 Ways Marriage Helps Men’s Health.” Of course, the obvious caveat is that when you marry it’s important to marry someone you love, respect, and admire. Studies show that couples who stay together – happily – are the ones who make the transition from falling in love to a deeper kind of love that includes admiration and respect. Your choice of dating partner leads to your choice of spouse, so it’s vital to make the right choice. Check back for my newest book, coming soon, just for guys – [...]
Continue Reading March 15th, 2012
Despite the reality show staged scenarios, there are some nuggets of wisdom to be found in “The Bachelor,” ABC’s long running series that features one very handome guy dating about fifteen women at one time. Over the course of the season he gradually eliminates them until he has one woman to whom he proposes in a romantic scene complete with fabulous diamond ring. In real life, guys don’t date that way, but they could, at least to some degree. Looking at the Bachelor, a smart guy can take a few cues that will help him date more successfully. Find out what to expect from a good guy if you’re a woman, and pass this podcast along to the guys you know who want to know how to date to land a fabulous woman. Click on the arrow below to listen now, or download and listen to this podcast later. Listen Now You can download this podcast as an MP3 file: Right click on “Listen Now,” choose “save target as” and save it to your music folder on [...]
Continue Reading March 14th, 2012
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