The One Emotional Tool You Need to Succeed at Love


Do you feel thwarted in love? Develop this one emotional tool and it will change everything. I know a wonderful guy. Jim is a very successful executive who absolutely loves his job helping to run a mid-sized company. He is a striking guy – tall, good looking, and fit. He’s super kind and considerate of others, one of the many reasons he is a great leader and his team reveres him so much. Jim will retire in his mid-fifties a multi-millionaire, hard earned and well deserved. One thing that Jim doesn’t have is a great relationship with a woman. He [...]

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The One Thing to Have Your Best EVER Dating Year

2015 goals

If you’re setting intentions for the new year, this one may be your most important. There is ONE THING that will make this your best year ever for dating. I love HGTV, especially the house hunter episodes. Usually it’s a couple, searching for the perfect home for their family. Getting on the same page with the wish list is sometimes a challenge, but by the end of the show, they’re happily at home in their new abode. One thing all house hunters have in common is that they know what they want. They don’t randomly wander around looking at houses [...]

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Sexting Hurts. Period.

sexting 1

If you think sexting is cool, think twice. Reality check: sexting hurts you and him. Far too many women today think it’s okay for men to send them sexually explicit texts and messages, or to send them to men, and that is a real problem. Like my colleague, Dr. Keith Ablow, I do not buy the notion that women and men are no different from one another sexually, and that the newfound freedom of women today to hook up frequently with random men is a positive thing. Sexting dehumanizes relationships, rendering them to pornographic images on a small screen, devoid [...]

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Top 3 Reasons Why Andi Chose Josh for the Bachelorette Final Rose

Andi and Josh

This season’s The Bachelorette had a few twists and turns, notably the dumping of Nick on the day of the final rose ceremony. I turned to my husband about a third of the way through Monday night’s show and said, “she’s going to choose Josh, and here’s why . . .” Nick gave it all away in his final comments and actions leading up to the last day of the season. There are great relationship take-aways from this season’s show, and they all point to the top three reasons why Andi chose Josh. They might very well be YOUR top [...]

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The Real Reason Why Rejection Hurts So Much

thumbs down

If you have ever felt devastated by rejection, you are not alone. Recent research shows why: our brains don’t know the difference between the emotional pain of being rejected and actual physical pain. Erin dated John for six months. While he was still checking her out, she was falling deeply in love. Finally, he couldn’t deny the reality: they weren’t on the same page, and it wasn’t going to change. So he broke up with her, giving her the typical dating-stuck-in-the-friend-zone excuse: that he just didn’t see it going anywhere. This, in spite of the fact that they’d been sleeping [...]

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Texting for Dates: Top 3 Rules You Must Follow

texting best pic

Before you hit “send” on that text, stop and think. You may be tanking a perfectly good relationship. Here’s how to keep your new love on the rails. Some people say you don’t need rules for texting – it’s anything goes. It’s a great tool and it’s easier than picking up the phone and calling, so why not use it in just about any scenario? I say, it IS a great tool, but like any tool, it can be used to build something or it can be used to tear something apart. When used the wrong way, texting can tank what might [...]

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4 Guy Types to Rehab, or Not

4 guys

Before you dedicate yourself to changing a guy, take a look at these guy types. The one you want to rehab may be the one you can’t. There are four general categories of guy dating pain that you may encounter. One is a potential salvage job, one is potentially dangerous, and two are projects that you could spend a lifetime on and get nowhere. Here’s the difference. One: The commitment phobe. This is the guy who can’t comprehend settling down, but that doesn’t stop him from dating. The true commitment phobe has it wired this way: Commitment is PERMANENT, FOREVER, [...]

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Marriage is Better than Living Together – By Far! Here’s Why


If you’re dating someone special and talking about living together, think twice. It may not be as good for you as you think. The other day I came home stressed out and my husband offered to give me a head and shoulder rub. What bliss! Not only did it feel good to my tense muscles, but as he rubbed, I felt my entire system calm down. I know without having to think about it that my husband loves me and is there for me. So that neck and shoulder rub wasn’t just physically therapeutic, it was emotionally therapeutic. And there [...]

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The ONE Reason to Let Him Pursue

couple dancing at wedding

As a relationship coach I’ve heard lots of single men say some version of the following: I like her, she’s cute and all, but I don’t know . . . I’m just not feeling that strongly about her. But she keeps calling me and, well, it’s nice to have someone to go out with. But what I heard when they met “the one” was vastly different! Wow, she is amazing. It took me three tries to get her to go out with me, but once we did, things took off. We’ve been dating for a few months – yeah I [...]

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Juan Pablo Dates Like a CEO!

Juan Pablo

On this season of the hit ABC show, The Bachelor, Juan Pablo is the whole package. He is – of course – gorgeous, not to mention successful in his business, emotionally available, AND looking for marriage. Even better, he’s a loving single Dad to his adorable daughter, Camila. Who wouldn’t want a guy like that? But Juan Pablo is a guy who puts something extra into his dating game plan. Juan Pablo has figured out how to Date Like a CEO, and that’s exactly the subject of my new book for men! Here’s a preview of what it means for [...]

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3 Reasons Why Men Need to Take the Lead in Relationships


Im all for gender equality and partnership in marriage. My husband and I have that, yet we are also deliciously different. Those male/female differences are the reasons why – in the early stages of dating – it pays huge dividends to let a guy take the lead. Long ago as a budding therapist counseling singles, I thought that gender differences didnt matter in dating relationships. I didnt coach singles to understand or honor those differences, nor did I understand or honor them in my own dating life. Every time I took the lead making the first moves, asking guys [...]

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Valentine’s Day: Gift Giving and Relationship Stages


Are you dating someone new – say, less than six months? Are you wondering what kind of gift to give, and what to expect? What you do next could make or break your budding relationship. Here’s how todecide what is the right – and wrong – gift to give in a new dating relationship. First, stop and reflect: how involved are we at this point? Have you said I love you? Are you sleeping together, exclusive? Are you talking about future, meeting each others relatives? If youre at this level of involvement, then your gifts should reflect it. For him:A [...]

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4 Hot Tips for Bringing Love Into Your Life This Year

goal setting

It’s January, that time of year when we set new intentions and goals, but are you setting the kind of goals that will bring love into your life this year? It turns out there are some “do’s” and “don’ts”that can make a huge positive difference as you set your goals for 2014, especially if you’re ready to find love: Be intentional. Its far too easy to let another year drift by, taking no particular action, and hoping something will magically happen to improve your love life. Setting powerful intentions frames your mindset and stimulates new behaviors. Set intentions such as [...]

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Eek! It’s the Holidays and I’m Single!


Sixteen years ago, the holidays came around but I was not ina festive mood. Everywhere I looked, there were constant reminders of what was supposed to be happening in my life: happy couples strolling along in the mall, television commercials featuring the guy giving the girl a gorgeous diamond ring, not to mention those holiday songs of love. I was divorced, had broken up with my latest boyfriend, and what I wanted most for Christmas was for it to be over, already. I know firsthand what it feels like to feel left out, and thats what most singles experience during [...]

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Prince Authentic Trumps Prince Charming Every Time

prince charming 3

There was a time when the most charming guy in the room got my attention. If he went out of his way toply me with flattery, riveting his attention on me, I was hooked. I believed that charm, aimed at me, equaled real desire. And in my mind, that desire was fueled by the intention for a real relationship. I was so tempted, and I usually succumbed. Boy was I wrong! Now, my husband and I laugh about his opening line to me the night we met: “Hi, my name is Mark.” No charm, just a genuinely nice smile and [...]

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Dancing With The Singles [Love Strategies Podcast]

ballroom dancers

If you love Dancing With The Stars like I do, you’re glued to the television on Monday nights this fall, cheering on your favorite celebrity contestants. But ballroom dancing isn’t just for the stars, it’s good for relationships. Did you know that ballroom dancing is good for the development of relationship skills even when you’re single? In this episode of Love Strategies, Ninaexplores the many ways that relationships are a lot like dancing, as well asthe health benefits of ballroom dancing whether you are in a relationship or not. Leading and following are not just antiquated ideas your grandparents talked [...]

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Mindy McCready’s Fatal Love Mistakes


Earlier this year, Mindy McCready,hugely successful country singer, and mother of two small children, took her own life. It was a tragedy that could have been avoided.How didher romantic relationships play into her downfall and death? Find out the risks of love addiction and how to avoid them. Understand why making passion your goal may block you from a healthy love relationship. Also in this podcast, is serial monogamy standing in the way of a healthy relationship? Maybe you’ll see yourself in Samantha’s story: her history with serial monogamy, the impact on her life, and what should be her next [...]

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Does Online Dating Lead to a Better Marriage? [Love Strategies Podcast]


Does online dating result in a better marriage? For the first time, a new study reveals that online dating is no longer just for losers and misfits. It is a viable way to find a soul mate.In this podcast of Love Strategies, Ninalooks at all the latest findings about online dating, the good, the not so good, and the great. Find out the top 3 reasons why online dating can increase your odds of a better marriage. Also in this show: what do you do when a guy (who seems normal and nice) doesn’t plan ahead? How do you handle [...]

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Does Facebook Cause Breakups?

Facebook breakup 2

Anew study suggests that if youre like “slutty Joan,” youre going to get a worse rap from your female friends than “slutty Jim” will get from his buddies. Are sexual double standards still going on? What does it mean in your world? On this episode of Love Strategies, Ninadiscusses this dicey question,as well as your own sex life and how it impacts the rest of your life. Also on the show: does Facebook cause breakups? The short answer is: it depends; sometimes yes and sometimes no.Find outwhen it does and when it doesnt and why.And what do you think about [...]

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Bachelorette Des Wins Big By Dating Smart!

Des and Chris

This year’s series The Bachelorette gave us perhaps the best ever example of how to date smart. Congratulations to Desiree Hartsock on her engagement toChris Siegfried, but more importantly,for how she conducted herself in her quest for a soul mate. There’s so much to say, but I’ll give you the highlights of her season on the Bachelorette and what she did that worked so well. 1. She was 100% authentic every step of the way. The minute Des realized she couldn’t see a future with someone, she spoke up. This is so important, because dating is ultimately about choosing someone [...]

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Sexting Is Cheating, And a Whole Lot More

sexting 1

Anthony Weiner cannot stop himself. And unfortunately, he’s not getting enough push back for his offensive behavior. His wife stands by him (poor Huma), he still has backers in his political campaign for mayor of New York, and far too many young women today think it’s appropriate for men to send them sexually explicit texts and messages, or to send them to men. And that is the real problem – that there isn’t enough outcry from women against this kind of behavior. Like my colleague, Dr. Keith Ablow, I do not buy the feminist party line that women and men [...]

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Dating the Not Yet Divorced Guy [Love Strategies Podcast]

Afro american couple

What happens when you meet someone who isn’t quite divorced YET? And that’s usually what they say: “I’m not divorced yet” instead of “I’m married.” Should you date that person or take a pass? If you choose to get involved, can it work? Should it work? There are layers to this issue, and we’ll unpeel them in this show. Also on this show: should you date someone who is not quite on your level? When you feel like you’re about to settle, it’s time to take step back and figure out what is driving your decision. The real issues behind [...]

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If I Friend You and You Friend Her, Will We Stick Together?


Facebook is the social phenomenon of all of them: over the past nine years the user base has grown from one million to ONE BILLION! By now, almost everyone knowssomeone else who reconnected with a long lost lover from the past, or who met someone new and started an affair, using Facebook. In fact, we know that Facebook is the launch point for a high percentage of affairs. But what about breakups? Does Facebook contribute to breakups and divorces? The answer is: it depends. In some cases yes and in some cases no. A new study found that high levels [...]

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4 Reasons You Should Date a Failure

Couple hearts question marks

Fourteen years ago when I met my husband, we were both failures. Relationship failures, that is. He was divorced twice and so was I. We were in our early forties, fearful of making another mistake, yet still hopeful that maybe this relationship would be the right one. We both had a healthy dose of skepticism, but we forged ahead. Good thing we did because meeting him has definitely turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me! If you are single and over forty, odds are you have at least one big relationship failure in your [...]

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Why We Love Fifty Shades of Grey [Love Strategies Podcast]

Fifty Shades of Grey

Why is the book Fifty Shades of Grey still topping the bestsellers list? Why is it such ahuge phenomenon? What is the emotional chord that it touches in so many women?This Love Strategies show is allabout the book and why it is that we- women- love Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s not what you think! It’s not justthe sex, it’s the bad boy fascination. Also on the show- a brand new study thatreveals what makes women so attracted to bad boys. You will be shocked at the answer to that age old question. Also on this episode of Love Strategies, [...]

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